Burning Desire
by Yuki Kimagure
Summary: [YAOI][AU] Desire has taken over hard rock singer Akiyama Riku, making him write explicit lyrics for a mysterious blue eyed boy in the audience. Will he be able to get what he wants or will poser band Diva le Manx torture him with it? RxS R&R!
1. Distances and Arousal

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do.

A/N: This story was created kind of as a spur of the moment. I wanted to make a hot and heavy story about Riku and Sora and my other stories with them are more emotional and go deep into their feelings exploring their innocence and tenderness. So realizing this, and after reading a good share of lemons, I felt that I needed to make something strong, lust-filled, and aggressive. Thus this mini-story was born. Please review! I'd love to hear your comments and I'd like to know if this is a good angle for me too or should I still stick with the thought-provoking stories. Enjoy!

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Burning Desire

"**Distances and Arousal"**

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Oh god that dream was wonderful. It was the usual one that I had after almost every performance. I would be there, probably at his house, and we'd be fucking all over the place. This time, I had him in the shower. Thinking about the way he screamed out my name as he quaked into an orgasm made my arousal start to awake all over again as I wiped the sweat from my brow. Now I definitely need to clean myself up.

That guy was always on my mind. Whether it was writing lyrics for the band or just making an omelet, my mind would drift off to him and I'd have to work it off in the bathroom before I came in my pants. One time I was making rice and I almost burned the house down. I now know that burned rice smells like shit. Normally someone who would get me so hot and bothered would be dripping in sex appeal and had so many partners that they could populate a small island nicely. But this one was different.

It all began at the café where my band and I usually perform. We were playing the audience's favorite song, 'Raven's Scar,' and everyone was singing and swaying to the music as we jammed out. I had to say that I was impressed to see how everyone enjoyed it so much. The song was actually kind of dark, about a cold-hearted bitch that went home to see her husband shot to death and covered in black feathers. Basically, it was a revenge song for my ex-girlfriend Tifa but more on that later.

But as I went to the chorus, it hit me. The most beautiful and enchanting blue eyes I had ever seen were staring right at me! I remembered fumbling with the words and Leon giving me dirty looks as he couldn't sing back up with my mistakes. I ended up getting a serious reprimand for it. The bastard was always just too resentful that I will finish college in a few months while he had dropped out two years ago for his now ex-boyfriend. But back to the story.

The song had gone smoothly after that and we then thanked the audience and went offstage with me still shaken up about what had just occurred. Tidus slapped me on the back and asked me what the hell had happened and I just made the excuse that I had choked and my mouth was getting too dry. I know, I'm bad at excuses.

"What the fuck do you mean 'you choked'? You just drank down two bottles of water before we got on!" I remember him yelling as he smacked me upside the head. I rolled my eyes and stalked off.

"Well fuck you Tidus. I already have to deal with your shit enough as it is," I said. I don't know where that came from but at that time, it made total sense to me. His whole Yuna problem wasn't any of my business to discuss and I knew I needed to apologize after. Right then, I was too pissed to care.

We continued to see him during each and every one of our performances, or rather, _I _did. The last time I had seen him was two days ago. He was leaning against the bar at the local club Shotzz, where the summer concert was being held. Watching us play our latest song, he did not know that I made it for him, each word carefully written to show my desire to simply take him where he always stood and fuck him senseless, right there for all to see.

_You look at me like some broken doll_

_Some wounded soul I'd like to fuck_

_And feel you cry as I tear you apart_

_I'd eat you baby from the inside_

His eyes would always be so intense when I sang the words, in my dreams and even in reality. Each look he gave me turned me on even more, making me breathe heavily into the microphone as I continued my song. Sure I was openly lusting over someone that no one truly was able to see but I didn't really care. As long as he saw it, I got what I wanted.

_Oh God don't you move_

_You're that tingle right down here_

I seductively slithered a hand down, tracing the mike stand towards the area that was now pressed against my arousal, making the girls scream and swoon. The little bitches probably wished that they were my hand at that particular moment.

_One glance from you_

_Turns saints into rapists_

I saw him wince as I moaned out that last line. But I kept on singing, knowing it's true. Whenever I look at him my skin crawls and my body sweats. Hell, I'm sweating now as I slowly rock my hips against the violated mike stand thinking it's him. Currently it felt like heaven.

_Oh baby don't move_

_Don't stop I'm there_

_Filling you from the inside_

_I'm gonna disappear_

There was a short instrumental by Tidus and I ran my fingers through my long silver hair, grinning lustfully to the crowd, watching the bimbos swoon and cry out my name as if I was their savior.

_Oh God don't you move_

_You're that tingle right down here_

_One glance from you_

_Turns saints into rapists_

oOo

_And I'll fuck you like you want me to_

_I see your lust deep in your eyes_

_The one that makes me want seize you_

_And take you like the animal I know you are_

Repeating those last four lines until it was nothing but barely intelligible screams, I pulled out the mike and continued to yell as the music hit its climax and then died away, giving the cue for the roaring scream of fangirls.

"Arigato gozaimasu!" I said with a devilish grin as they girls jumped and cheered. I always enjoy using a little bit of my native Japanese here and there. I don't know why but saying a few good words like 'So desu ne?' gets women to take their clothes off and beg to be fucked. I never complained though, I got what I wanted from it all and a lot easier at that too.

Exiting the stage I could hear the announcer for the summer concert say our band name, Judas, and that our CD will be on sale at the café. I really needed to get off so I walked out to the side of the building to try to find the first reasonably hot slut with nice legs. My thought on it all was that women could be ugly and loose as hell but if they had long shapely legs, I'd be cumming every time.

Well, my crowd was waiting and I entered with another of my sexy smirks, mentally thanking my mother for being as sexy as I was. "Oh my God! It's Riku-sama!" yelled some rather nerdy girl with her mouse-brown hair tied up in some awkward ponytails streaked with pepto puke or bubblegum and small circular shades resting on her nose like some kind of bifocals and shit. And her clothes, god damn! Hello, this is a concert for Judas not for some kind of gay ass j-rock fake elegant shit. That kind of visual kei died a decade ago; hate to break it to ya!

Moving her out of my way, I walked past the annoying as hell otaku and greeted the unaware red-head behind her. That was another one of my major turn-ons. Red heads just had that kind of thing about them that made them seem so enchanting, so sexy, and so lusty, even if they _were_ as innocent as a nun. Add the green eyes she had and the long shapely legs that peeked out of the schoolgirl type black skirt that she was wearing and she was heaven sent.

"So, are you a fan?" I asked, resting a hand on the small of her back to get her attention. She turned around and grinned, batting her ever long eyelashes at me.

"So what if I am?"

The pick-up line never failed me and hopefully never will. Placing my lips lightly at her earlobe, I whispered, "Hey, do you wanna go someplace more private?" Thankfully, she took the 'subtle' hint and led me out of the crowd to the outside of the club.

I have to say, fucking in an alleyway is God's gift to man. It ranks up there with being able to piss standing up. Honest to Christ, and I know I shouldn't be saying their names when talking about these things but it was… euphoric. Being the man I am, I enjoy almost everything standing up. We were right there, me fucking her into the brick wall behind the club and ignoring the shocked faces of people who were hurrying down the sidewalk and away from the alley opening.

"Oh Riku you're so good!" I remember her saying again and again. I just grinned and pleasured her until he stiffened into her orgasm and collapsed against me, straining one of her sexy long legs to keep her balance.

Sadly enough, Tidus casually leaned out of the back door to the club and called me back in. Damn bastard, and I was ready for another round with her.

Giving a frustrated groan, I pulled myself out of her, fixed myself up and helped her back into the club, I _am_ a little bit of a gentleman after all.

Back inside, Tidus led me to the side of the stage where the rest of the band was, sipping on some alcohol or eating on the shrimp they 'graciously' provided us. The shit wasn't even deveined and I just can't get over that after watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Just so you know, I don't like that show, it's a piece of shit made for fags to grope men that are normally off-limits. The only reason why I was stuck in that damn torture was because my _then_ girlfriend was a total yaoi freak. She even was trying to pay Leon _one-hundred _dollars to get him to make out with me. Sick ass bitch.

Back to my little story ne? Well, they were to introduce the next band and supposedly, if rumors were somewhat true, they were our rivals for the slots in the Noir Music Festival. There were very few spots left and, in order to hit big, we needed one of those spots. Noir is a scouter's wet dream and an indie band's as well for that matter. And what they all would wake up with was millions of dollars and t-shirts at Hot Topic with their greedy little faces on them. But I liked the t-shirt idea so I was in. Funny ne?

"And next is Diva le Manx with their latest song, 'Marx is a sex god'!" said the rather hot announcer. He was _way_ too pale for my liking and _did_ look like Kiss with his overly dramatic streaks of eyeliner going down his cheeks but he had a pretty good body. A damn good one at that, nice and thin, his hips nicely detailed by the leather pants he was wearing. A big plus was his wavy jet black hair that rested like Leon's but more… attractively. And, his cold gray eyes were pretty nice too. If he was cleaned up and took off that ridiculously horrible thing called a fishnet shirt and he could be a very fuckable guy.

Now you're probably thinking, 'Hey, you just called the Queer Eye guys fags but you are checking out the announcer! Pot calling the kettle black?' Well, I _do _think _some_ guys are hot too, I'm bi after all, a staunch conservative's nightmare. Heh, I could fuck their wives _and_ have their brother's cream their pants. Enough with politics, I don't vote. But I _am_ bi but I lean more to the female side. Women just have more positions than men can do, plus they are more flexible. Tough but true.

When the band came up, Tidus laughed loudly, making Leon try to cover up his mouth as Axel smirked at the scene. Looking up, I held by my own laughs to a snicker when I saw what Tidus was so amused about.

"Here come the 'Fags in Black'," I sang to the hysterical blonde. Leon was tickled about it as well, he actually… chuckled! Holy shit, that meant that they look _really _ridiculous!

The man I guessed was the vocalist was a little toned down in comparison to everyone else. His obviously dyed black hair was messed up to look like Klaha or something like that from Malice Mizer. But at least Klaha had a bit of attractiveness to it. His eyes were mismatched with one ice blue contact and one red one, all outlined with enough eyeliner to stock up three Wal-Mart's nicely.

"Hey," he muttered, making me roll my eyes. Damn posers trying to be all hard and shit. The crowd cheered politely and I smirked, it was going to be interesting. He gestured to the first guitarist, looking like a deranged Manson clone. Wait, is that possible? Whatever. But the guy was black so it was pretty interesting, I gave him a few points on that. Heh, a few points.

"This is Coal the lead guitarist/" Then he lost those points all over again. But I guess it was better than his real name, something probably unfitting like LaJackson or Shane.

"Villmina is the keyboardist," he said, pointing to the girl that looked almost exactly like the weird otaku chick that bugged the hell out of me.

"Crime is on the drums." Okay, he looked just like if Mary Kate Olsen had a disfiguring accident when trying to make him a man. He was out.

"And the lovely man next to me is our bassist Kensuke with his brother the guitarist Hiroga." The crowd then squealed as the vocalist leaned over to plant a rough kiss on his lover's lips, who just happened to be fully Japanese. Little Jap bastard more like it!

"Cheap bastards using all the cards," muttered Leon as he scowled, folding his arms. Axel was busy crackling his knuckles, looking like to give a fight. He really had a big issue about posers in all ways of life. This was taking the cake.

"Seriously. They pulled the monochrome card, the girl card, and _two_ of the Japanese cards. _And_ they even are using the gay card. Why do chicks dig that shit?" grumbled an irked Tidus as he scratched his head puzzledly at the last question.

I shrugged and narrowed my eyes as the two fools stopped their disgusting tongue war. "Don't really know but these guys are sure to suck. No one flashes at the beginning unless their performance is a glass of piss on a hot day."

Unfortunately, it wasn't that way. They were pretty decent and the crowd kept screaming as the vocalist, Yan as he was called, kept grabbing his boyfriend's ass. This was like hearing Ode to Joy at my funeral. Tidus' shoulder's were slack as he watched with utter shock and disappointment. Leon kept glaring and Axel just went off to get more vodka.

_You want to pull me into the light_

_Keep me inside in a cage_

_And chain me like the virgin you took that night ago_

_And kill me like the martyr that you want me to be_

Looking casually to the side, looking for the red-headed asshole, I spotted a familiar head of brown hair. I closed my eyes, trying to figure out who it reminded me of and when I saw their dazzling cerulean eyes, I knew. It was him!

_You watch us peons on your marble pedestal_

_But don't you know I want you most?_

_Let me hide cause your light burns my skin_

_And turns me_

_To what I see_

_In you_

_A violent and lovely memory_

I don't know why I was frozen that night cause all I did was watch him as he mouthed the words with those full pink lips he has. His eyes were all lit up as he cheered the band on, making my stomach turn. I shouldn't have been surprised, he had to like other bands. He's not a loser.

The band finished and the guy cheered, it was sickening. I just picked up my drink and guzzled the rest of it down, slamming the cheap plastic cup down to the table and storming off. That day I had enough and all I could do was constantly dream about him again and whack off as I slowly forgave him.

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A/N: Well, part one done. Just need to finish the rest of the parts. This will be a short story though, I promise! And if some of my terminology is kinda wierd, I guess its just how we say things in my area. We're just wierd I guess. Hehe! Oh yeah, and Riku is gonna be very offensive in this story ifyou haven't noticed. So don't getupset if you feel like he's talking about you cause it's just for his character. And in this story, I'm making him more of an asshole. Sorry.Well, nothing much to say, just READ AND REVIEW! Hehe! See ya later! 


	2. Enigmatic Blue

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do.

A/N: I'm so glad for all of your reviews! They are so encouraging and I'm so glad you like asshole Riku. He's really hilarious like that huh? Well, I'm gonna try to make Sora's character pretty good. Hope you enjoy!

P.S. Whatever Riku says doesn't represent what I believe personally. Riku has a mind of his own in this story and its pretty creepy. shivers

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**Burning Desire**

"**Enigmatic Blue"**

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This passing week was crazy. Sunday was pretty good, we went out partying cause we felt too much like shit to stay at home. After watching Diva le Dick or Shit le Manx or whatever the fuck their name was, it was a bit discouraging. Here we were, an awesome and really stable band using nothing but our music to sway fans, holding the record for the Traverse café district for most CDs sold. Then comes the shittiest band since Milli Vanilli that only use nauseating fan service to get the annoying otakus to worship their pasty asses!

"There is _one_ thing that's good about that band," said Tidus as he stirred his piña colada with the paper umbrella pick.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Axel was teetering a bit from drinking and it was pretty hilarious to watch as he'd casually grab the asses of random women as they walked by. But he was right though, what _was_ Tidus talking about? Was he actually considering _liking_ that band?

"Okay dude, seriously. The one good thing about that Diva-shit is that they make me definitely sure as hell that I'm straight." Heh, that was kind of funny. Our whole group laughed at this, Leon actually laughing out loud as well. The poor icy bastard, he probably had too much to drink. I can't blame him though, we were all piss ass drunk and we didn't know how the fuck we were going to get home now.

"Fuck yeah! One look at them would slap the gay out of any guy, even you Leon!" yelled Axel as he received a rough shove by the said man, making him sprawl out on the seating of the booth. Tidus then stood up awkwardly in his seat, his knees shaking at trying to hold him up and not hit the bottom of the greasy ass table. Seriously, I know it's a bar but wash your damn rags! Wow, I was drunk.

"Dude, don't piss yourself! Yan's not here for your virginity _yet_!"

"F-f-fuck you Tidus," he sputtered between gasps and laughing.

I have to say, Tidus could be a stupid moron with no sense of focus and an annoying as hell tendency to say 'dude' at the worst times but he _did _have a tendency to make good jokes every now and them. Some, like this one, were even pretty damn truthful. If it wasn't for that hot little blue-eyed vixen in the corner, I would have to agree with-

"What the-?" I narrowed my hazy eyes to the corner of the bar where a brown and blue little blur was watching us with another black and white one. Black and white, what the fuck was that?

Leon noticed my questioning gaze and he raised an eyebrow.

"Looks like we have a few listeners," he said, suddenly sobering up. He looked as if we had been caught growing pot in the backyard but by hell I couldn't see a damn thing. What was this watery shit on my eyes? I think I'm going blind!

"Holy shit, I think they heard us," muttered the blonde as he hunched over the table, trying not to be seen. Axel just got up and sat back down, snickering still like a drunken fool.

"I wish I could see what you all are worried about but I can't fucking see a damn thing!" I yelled, seeing Tidus wince and Leon roll his eyes.

"You have tears in your eyes dip shit," Tidus muttered and ran a palm over my left eye. Oh God, I could see after all! It was a frickin' miracle!

"Act natural," muttered Leon as he picked up his drink again. The time I look up is the time that they are walking over to us. It was only three of them, and one of them wasn't from the band, or at least when they played last night. I almost crapped myself when I saw who it was.

The smug monochromatic bastard towered over our table, looking down at our drunken selves as if he ran the place. Smug little bastard. Unfortunately, Axel was still the fucking moron that he was when he was drunk.

"Hey Yan," he started, making us all roll our eyes and Leon bury his face in his hands in utter defeat, knowing whatever the redhead was going to say would be embarassing or stupid. The tall pillar of black turned his marble mask of a face to glare down at him with Villmina glaring down at us angrily over her rather awkward sunglass spectacles. I'm now positive up close that she was the annoying as hell otaku. Damn bitch.

Axel snickered like a fool as Leon shook his head. "Just don't do it, don't fucking do it. I swear to God I'll kill you." But he continued his little joke, to our dismay.

"California called, they need a new governor." He simply burst out laughing, leaving Leon to glare at him, Tidus to roll his eyes, Yan to stand there unamused, Villmina to glare angrily, and me to snicker quietly. It _was_ stupid but it _was_ pretty funny too.

"What the fuck Axel, stop laughing, it wasn't funny," said Tidus, earning an approving nod from Leon. Axel was totally out of it as he cracked up in hysterical laughter that had some of the other people in the bar looking over at us.

"I'm not Austrian you idiot, I'm Hungarian."

"It's all the fucking same thing to me!" he said as he continued to laugh, getting out of his chair and walking off to the bathroom like a possessed man.

"And here comes the barf job," muttered Leon as he settled himself with the new room at the booth. The posers just stood there glaring at us.

"What the fuck are you glaring at? Say something or leave," I said in a rather perturbed way. Wow, higher level diction! Haha.

They simply stood there and I saw a small patch of brown hair from behind Yan's shoulder. I traced where I approximated the person behind him to be to the slightly tanned hand clasped with his pasty white one. It was more of a possessive grasp if you asked me.

Yan just grinned and slowly stalked off, with the annoying otaku in tow. But then, I spotted it. It was him, the guy from the concerts! He took a passive look back at us and then followed obediently with the gothic giant, looking up to him affectionately. If I wasn't too busy being frozen in shock right then, I would have been furious at that moment. I was upset later on that night when I had begun to slightly sober up.

"Now what the fuck was that?" asked Tidus as he reclined into the padding behind him. Leon just shrugged as he looked over to the waitress person, I was still too drunk to figure out who the hell she was. She gave us our check and Leon passed her his card, writing down a substantial tip. God I need to call Kairi and have her drive me back home.

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That morning, I woke up with the biggest headache in a month. Hangover really bites. Next time I'll actually try out that Chasers shit that I always see on TV.

After brushing, taking my morning urination, my morning shower, my morning jack off session, and the rest of my normal routine, I pulled on clothes, some kind of fitted black shirt and faded blue jeans and walked out. I was bored and I didn't want to go to the stupid practice session yet, I still needed to just walk and take a load off of my mind.

Looking at my cell phone, I realized that it was Monday, a few days before Kairi's birthday. Kairi was Axel's little sister and the one who would always cheer the band on and set up flyers for us. She even designed the cover of our last CD. She was going to be a great artist some day.

Now I had to think of something to get her. She loved art and stuff like that but I couldn't even tell the difference between acrylic and oil. That option was definitely out. Maybe I should get her a good book? She always talks about those boys' love manga that she loves to read and I knew most of the ones in America from when I lived in Japan. Things take _years_ to come over here. It was ridiculous.

Deciding on that plan, I headed off to the bookstore. Downtown was pretty crowded and kind of grimy, but filled with lots of people, lots wearing the fashion for their social groups. Walking hurriedly down the corner, I found the huge bookstore and walked in, hearing that annoying little bell that all damn bookstores have, supposedly.

"Now let me see, manga..." I hummed to myself as I walked towards the left of the store. It was pretty cool, a huge building with two stories of just books. A nerd would cream themselves at the opportunity to spend a summer locked inside. But enough about that kind of crap, I need to get to the manga.

I walked over to the long section of the squat little books, English on one side and true Japanese versions on the other. Me, I looked over the Japanese ones first, trying to find myself something interesting that I could read to spare the time. Hanyou Karen Maiko, Hara-kiri-Kitty, Hattori Ni, I Ai Eye…

All of the newer ones looked pretty boring and I was about to give up when I saw the doujinshi section. Thank God for doujinshi! If the show that you like doesn't have the pairing that you want, a doujinshi could be your dream come true. Too bad that this section was mostly for Prince of Tennis. What the hell is that? Whatever girls want right?

Now for Kairi's gift. I looked at the translated manga and traced a finger across the spines. What would be something that she'd like? I'm not even gonna try to guess which issue of Gravitation she was on and I know she's not really into the hardcore stuff at this time. Hmm…

Seeing a tall thin issue called Only the Ring Finger Knows, I chuckled a little. This would be fine. It's not wrapped and I know that it doesn't get explicit or even remotely so. But I, being the retard that I am at times, didn't notice someone sitting on the floor right under me.

Note to self, before I walk anywhere, don't expect that there won't be some careless asshole not paying attention under you. Yeah, and eating carpet in the process isn't my idea of a great thrill ride in itself.

"Hey! What he fuck!" I yelled as I turned myself over so that I was propped up on my elbow, rubbing the side of my head. I felt a massive headache coming on.

"Sorry Riku-sama!" God damn it! It's the stupid otaku bitch Villmina from the other day! Why do Tuesdays suck so bad?

I rolled my eyes and pushed myself back up, only to have her tiny little being hovering under me. How the hell did she become so tiny? She's white for crying out loud! Oh wait, I am about five-eleven. I'll need to slap myself later.

"Riku-sama, are you alright! I've totally ruined your prettiness! I should go to hell!" she kept saying as she then rambled off as if she had accidentally knocked over a god. What the hell was she babbling on about? And why is she calling me 'sama'? That's a wrong usage retard. Unless she _really _worships me. I shudder at that thought.

All of a sudden, she gets on her knees and begins to bow. Oohkay… that is too fucking creepy for me. Unfortunately, I take a step away.

"Please don't leave Riku-sama! I haven't repented entirely yet! I'm not worthy of you!"

She grabs my ankle and I start to freak out inside. I really don't like hitting girls, especially kicking them. In this instance however, it seems necessary. Besides, she might decide to make a shrine on her sick little forehead if I _do_ decide to do so.

"Um… Riku-sama demands you to stay there and count to a thousand for repentance while punching yourself at each hundred." I'm sick, I know, but using people who are way sicker than me is so much fun! How could someone in my position _not_ use it?

Sure enough, she stood up, made an overly respectful and sloppy bow, and then started almost psychotically. "One, two, three, four…"

Holy shit, she's actually counting, and timing it with seconds too. It'll take her over fifteen minutes to finish! While she does so, I creep away from her and around to the other shelves in the store. She was too much in a trance to notice my disappearance.

Well, manga was now out of the option unless I wanted to make her do a headstand while singing Geikai Merry-go-Round, if that's what the song is called. I close my eyes, trying to figure out what the hell to get now. Maybe I could find some nice art books or a good sketchbook for her. I heard she was running out and she needed some more.

"Okay, where would the sketch books be?" I hear a loud yell and a continual counting. Heh, she reached her first hundred. The other customers looked over towards that area and then shrugged and continued looking over the books.

I turned around the corner to the art section and almost stepped back. He was there, looking over a book on Monet and his water-centered paintings. I may know little about art but I knew a good amount of Monet. His bright blue eyes gazed intently at the images, tracing a finger across some of the patterns. He seemed to be entranced in the pictures, sighing contently.

I stayed at the far side of the aisle, watching him while pretending to read a book about Goya. The man was a fucking psycho I'll tell you. His eyes lit up when he unfolded the centerfold to reveal the most famous of Monet's artworks, at least in my opinion, The Water Lilies.

At that point in time, he looked more beautiful than ever, looking over each paint stroke carefully, memorizing each of the colors that were put in to make the scene. The first time I had seen it was when I went with Kairi on her college trip to see them in some museum in Pasadena. It was as if the man had put the rainbow into the water, making it shine with more magnificence than any other place could have it.

Suddenly, the boy closed the book gently and walked down to the next aisle. Where was he going now? "Ahhhh! Oh God!" I heard Villmina shriek as she hit three hundred.

I shoved the Goya book into the wrong place and hurried my steps, trying not to lose him. I stealthily followed him down the store towards the occult section. This was the most annoying spot in the whole store. It was so dark because the lighting was bad that it felt like a dungeon with the second floor above you and the walls at both sides filled to the brim with thick and dark-colored books.

I was about to turn around the corner when I saw Yan looking over the spines of the hardcover books. The boy walked over to him meekly.

"Can I have this one?" he asked, his blue eyes looking up to him. He gave one of his dark yet affectionate smiles and ruffled up his already messy brown hair.

"Sure why not. You've been a good boy." The bastard then slipped a snakelike arm around his small waist and pulled him close to his body. The whole damn time I thought, why am I here? Why couldn't I just have fun watching that dumb otaku knock herself senseless, or why couldn't I have just got the damn book and left?

But me, being the retard at times, I just continued to watch like some sick kind of peeping tom as Yan gave him kiss after kiss, each time making me hate him even more. Hell, I could feel a new song coming on! The boy still held his book across his chest and blushed as Yan leaned him against the shelves, tasting him like a viper would a mangled field mouse.

Okay, I had to leave, this was getting a bit too intense. But my legs wouldn't move. Why? I averted my gaze and leaned against the edge of the bookshelf, still unseen. It was my luck anyway, the _one_ person I really wanted was always taken or would be taken from me in the end. It was like that with Tifa when she decided to run off with my asshole of a brother. And now the mysterious boy from the club was taken by the poseur slime Yan.

"W-w-wait! Yan, what are you doing?" stuttered the flustered boy. I wasn't able to see what was going on so I just shrugged it off as I gathered myself to stand, thank god! I heard a slight ruffling of clothes and movement from against the bookshelf. What the hell was going on?

"Owww! Stop it!" he said in a pleading tone. Okay, this was getting creepy, I somehow found myself back against the edge of the other bookshelf again, trying to make out what was going on.

"Be quiet Sora. Don't be scared, you have to give me something in return right?" I heard Yan say and then more frantic wrestling.

"Stop it please. Not here," I heard the boy, who I now knew as Sora, cry. Okay, in any situation, even not in a secluded, dark, and quiet part of a bookstore like this, the conversation I was hearing _was_ a bit wrong.

After thinking of some kind of quick plan, I stepped back and then proceeded down the aisle in a casual pace, pretending as if I had been unintentionally walking down that area. Yan stood back a little bit and straightened himself out, leaving Sora to press up against the bookshelves, his eyes so scared that I had to fight back the urge to hold him. He looked so miserable and broken, even more than when he used to watch my band play.

I coasted over to the side and pretended as if to look for a book. So far so good. Maybe I could just get Kairi one of these vampire catalogues. Hell, I don't know, it might spark up some kind of artistic nerve to make something.

"Oh, it's you," muttered the asshole as he walked over to my way, standing before me in such a non-threatening way. The idiot must _really_ like to stand next to people and stare at them like an idiot. I just ignored him and continued looking.

"What are you doing here anyway, I didn't think you'd be the intellectual type," he said, using a lame insult. I rolled my eyes at the poor attempt. Hearing a small whimper, I turned my head slightly away from the shelf and looked over towards Sora. He was cuddled into the side of the other wall, furiously trying to rub the tears away with the back of his hand.

"What's wrong with him? You dump him or something?" I asked, adding a sarcastic tone to it. I needed to get an award for this.

"Oh him? No, he's just my little brother, whining as usual."

I froze. Sora is this asshole's brother? The one he was giving affectionate glances to and kissing like only lovers should, he was doing all that with his _brother_? Thank God I didn't have any lunch cause I would have puked it all up right now.

"You look surprised," said Yan as he leaned closer, creeping me out even more. He rested an arm against the bookcase, breaking a _little _too much into my personal space. I however, maintained my ground.

"Well," I shrugged, giving a glance to the brunette. "You don't look alike." Yan grinned and leaned in even more, creeping me out immensely. It was times like this when I wish I could beat the crap out of people.

"He's my half brother anyway. But why should we talk about him when we could talk about _other_ things?" he replied, tracing his fingertips against the side of my arm. Okay, this little blue-eyed bastard better be grateful for me saving him from a possible rape incident. Too bad I might get assaulted in the process however.

"I'm sorry, I don't swing that way for just anyone," I said, giving him a firm glare. He grinned and stole a quick kiss, shrugging with a sigh. I think I'm about to be sick all over again.

"Suit yourself. Sora, I'll be expecting you at the house," said Yan, his last sentence giving an obvious hint about what was to happen there. Then he walked out.

I sighed and returned to the books, pretending not to care about the now quiet boy behind me. Hell, I knew that he was probably freaking out or some kind of shit like that. I only got kissed by the guy and I felt like I was going to hurl out all of the meals I had eaten in my lifetime. But, he didn't quite have that same reaction as I had hoped.

"Thanks a lot, now I'm in even bigger trouble!" I blinked and turned to look at him in confusion.

"Excuse me? I'm the one that fucking saved you in the first place!"

Sora then glared the coldest glare imaginable at me. It felt like someone walking on your grave or when you accidentally see your parent naked, it's too damn creepy to be real.

He then finished buttoning up the last buttons on his crisp white shirt and placed his hands on his nicely curved hips.

"So genius, what did you think was gonna happen since you 'saved' me? Was I supposed to give you some kind of tearful confession or was I supposed to sprawl myself on this floor and beg you to take me in thankfulness?"

"Either one works for me. Personally I'd prefer the latter."

Not to my surprise, the brunette gave a frustrated huff and charged out of the bookstore. Sadly, since I had nothing better to do at that current time and also for the fact that I'm a cocky jerk, I followed right after him.

"What's your God-damned problem? Are you some kind of sick stalker or something?" he yelled behind himself as he continued to power walk down the sidewalk. I just simply weaved in and out of the crowd of people with a playful grin.

"No, but I _do_ believe you should give me a proper thank you at the very least! Like it or not, I _did_ go out of my way!" I called back as I matched his pace, keeping a good distance behind him. In the back of my mind, I knew he was going to hit me if I got too close so I didn't want to risk that. At least, not yet.

He continued on in silence. "At least give me your name! I always see you at my gigs and I wanted to know who you were!"

When I said that, he stopped in his tracks, the swarm of people weaving in and out away from him. I approached cautiously and hovered a little ways behind him.

"You saw me there? You recognize me?" he asked as if he couldn't possibly believe it. But if someone was watching you as intensely as he was from the audience, it would be like finding the black sheep in a white room.

"Yeah, you seemed so into the songs that I always was curious." He looked me over in a suspicious way. What the hell was up with this guy? Where went the cute and broken emo boy that I always saw? There is no God.

He paused uncertainly and answered. "I'm Sora Night."

* * *

The next thing I knew, I was laying back in my apartment, in my bed, with the mysterious Sora sleeping silently to the side of me. My first thought was 'when in the hell did _this_ happen?' Seriously. People don't usually tell someone off and then go to their apartment for hot and heavy sex, which was excellent by the way.

With my previous assumptions that women were far better in bed, I had been corrected. The ravenous sex that I shared with the coy little vixen in my bed was so near to implied violence that any simple girl would just call it rape. I can even feel the marks on my back from when he clawed at me relentlessly as I teased him and prolonged his wait to the mind numbing release we later shared. Listen to me, I'm rambling on about this! God it was amazing.

Shifting myself out of bed, I walked to the other room to see what time it was. Five-forty. Damn it, I was supposed to meet up with the band to practice today and I just totally blew them off. Even worse, Leon was going to kill me, especially if he knew that I skipped through it just for a good lay. It's not my fault that I take up the offers. Seriously, the man would probably get a lot more ass if he just sucked it up and screwed them. But then again, it'd probably suck getting nailed by an iceberg.

Walking back to the hall, I grabbed my now wrinkled jeans and shoved them on. Yeah, I walk around naked sometimes. After screwing around as much as I have, you start to not care who the hell sees you. You see each other in bed anyway right?

I dug my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Leon. Hopefully the bastard wouldn't be too pissed since practice was supposed to start about two hours ago. With my luck, the whole band could have been waiting there the whole damn time for me to show up.

"Hello?"

What the fuck? It's Rufus? How the hell is _he _on Leon's fucking phone?

"It's Riku, is Leon there?" I ask, knowing that I don't have to give the prick any kind of consideration. Even if I kissed his greasy ass, he would still trample over me like the dirt bag he _thinks_ I am. I guess the guy can't help it; he's just screwing around with men so that his father wouldn't name him successor to the company in some kind of last ditch effort to force him into the ideal role he's supposed to fill.

"Leon! It's the little bitch on the phone!"

After a long pause and a bit of tired groans later, the King of Ice himself picked up his own phone. It took long enough.

"Where the hell were you? We waited for an hour and a half and _right_ when they leave you decide to call," he groaned, obviously waking up from some kind of nap he was in the middle of.

"Oh, well you see…"

"Don't tell me you skipped out on us just to get laid."

He was now lighting a cigarette. Whenever Leon was stressed out or annoyed about something, he had the habit of smoking. It never really made any sense to me but if you were the unlucky bedmate of Rufus Shinra then you tended to have stress galore. And my bailing situation didn't really help either.

"Why are you such a damn psychic? I can't get away with anything," I sighed, plopping down onto the worn black couch. Sadly enough, the color used to be a deep midnight blue.

"Well, its not that hard to guess. You'd probably sell out your own mother if the girl put out enough."

"Whatever you say. Anyway, we needed to discuss what songs we were going to perform in our next gig."

"Well, I really don't care as long as you don't pick something stupid like 'Down with dreams.' That song is completely lame, I don't care what you say," said Leon coolly as he took another drag.

"Fine. Let's just use the song we just performed and the one with the complicated drum and bass patterns. That should be okay until I write up a new song or something," I replied. I needed to create something new anyway, the last song was one that I just thought of while I was going through another bout of sexual frustration. But then again, when I think about it, frustration has made some of the crowd's favorites. Can't beat a working method I guess.

"Yeah, well do that. I have to go, someone's whining like a little bitch over here. He probably drank all the beer again." I hold back a chuckle at this. For someone who was expected to take over the super-corporation of ShinRa Inc. and all of its minor companies, Rufus was useless when he didn't get his daily alcohol intake. The last time when he had gone without alcohol for three days, Squall ended up coming to practices half-asleep and only able to lean against a wall to rest.

"Okay, bye."

"Shut the fuck up I'll get your beer y-" was the last words from Squall for that conversation. Hanging up the phone, I then leaned back into the couch, looking up to the ceiling. I now need to create new songs; this was going to be fun. Whenever I made them though, it was always because I frustrated or when I was thinking about Sora. Now, I didn't really feel anything that was really songworthy at the most.

"God, now I have to think, that's great," I thought as I pulled up a lined piece of paper out of the clutter of candy wrappers and soda cans and picked up the nearest pen. Okay, I have something to write on, now I need something to write. Let's start off with the key line.

_Living the…_

Hmm…

_Living the lie_

This isn't going to work. "God damn it," I sigh as I run my hands through my hair in frustration. This isn't going to work at all, I need to just relax, it'll come to me later I know.

Laying back, I barely noticed the small messy head of brown hair sneakily making it's way to the door.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Where do you think you're going?" I say as I grab his arm just before he opened the safety lock on the door. It was pretty obvious to tell that he was trying to run out as fast as possible. His black knee-length punk-styled shorts were hurriedly fastened with his belt still unbuckled and his shirt was only halfway buttoned. From my position, I could tell that the buttons were fastened wrong and had to hold back from laughing at that.

But when he glared back at me, I remembered the same exact look from at the bookstore. He changed from the coy little vixen that he was and back to being the total brat that he loved to pull off so well. Life just keeps getting better and better.

"How _dare_ you grab me!" he yelled as he sharply pulled his arm back, making him drop the small bundle of clothes in his arm.

"How dare _I _grab _you_? Cause you're _leaving_ that's why!"

Sora averted his eyes and focused on the door, as if trying to figure out a way to get it to open without his hands. Pretty much impossible if _I _could help it. Besides, what is the problem with him spending the night? He's here anyway and at least I could be a good partner and fix him dinner or something, sex _never_ goes without an after intercourse meal, it's practically a rule.

"I-I have to get home. My… brother is waiting for me and I don't want him any _angrier_ than he already is," he muttered, his eyes faltering slightly at the mention of that asshole. I practically forgot that the bastard was waiting for him to come back, probably for a good rape-fest no doubt.

"Oh yeah, so he can drag you in to 'teach you a lesson?'"

"Don't say that!"

"You know it's true Sora! He's slime and no one does that shit to his _own brother_!"

"Just shut the hell up!"

Yeah, I deserved that half-punch-half-slap that I got for that. And hell, I know that I deserved the tear-filled glare of pure hatred and loathing that I shortly after received. But one thing I didn't deserve was the painful feeling of regret that I felt for saying that. I said truth, and I knew it from the way he looked at me. The acknowledgement of that really fueled my hatred towards Yan.

"Just don't talk about Yan like that," he said, trying to sniff back his tears, his hands obviously shaking in anger and what I also could tell to be humiliation. "He took care of me when Mom died. And Dad didn't even want to look at me! Yan was the only one who even gave a shit about me so don't act like he's the scum of the earth."

"But you can't take that kind of thing from him. Even if he lifted the _world_ for you, he treats you like his personal whore."

A small tear escaped down his cheek but he kept his eyes down, those beautiful eyes downcast.

"I take it be-b-beacause I… love him. And he loves _me_. So let me go to him."

And after he said that, he walked out of the door and left my life for the next few weeks.

* * *

A/N: Wow, this is a really weird and belated chapter. Well, I hope that it is satisfactory. I suddenly got the urge to type up on this story and I finally finished for the second chapter. This one was gonna go in so many ways, trust me. But I think it came out like it needed to be. It isn't too cliché and it isn't too angsty… I think. Ah well, I believe that it works. So please review on how you like or disliked this chapter. I really wanna see how many people liked this. Well, the next chapter should be out soon if I can get it out before I start college, it's so soon too! Well, until then! Bye! 


	3. Fire in the Sky

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do.

A/N: Well, this part will basically be in Sora's point of view. Need to lift a bit of the mystery from him right? Well, it'll be just a little. I don't want to reveal too much from him because he's supposed to be the alluring character in this. Well enjoy!

P.S. Whatever Riku says doesn't represent what I believe personally. Riku has a mind of his own in this story and its pretty creepy. shivers

**_Warning! Graphic scene ahead!_**

**

* * *

**

Burning Desire

"**Fire in the Sky"**

* * *

God, please let this end. It has been an entire week since I met him and all he does is haunt me. Every time I see someone relatively blonde or white haired walk down the street, I almost feel like running to them, hoping that it's him. But then its always some kogal or an old person so I try to play it off as if I saw something down the street that I liked. 

The more that I've been doing this though, the more Yan is beginning to suspect something. I know it because he always seems to be watching me whenever we walk around _anywhere_ now. He even has asked me what exactly I was looking at but I couldn't really say. If I told him, I knew that…

I don't want to think of that. All I want to think about is what to do. Yan wants me to make a new group of lyrics for him so that they could squash Judas at their own home turf. But I don't understand what the big deal is. They are a really good band that actually tries to please the crowd than just trying to get glory. But if Yan wants me to, I'll do it.

Looking up to the ceiling, I decide not to get out of bed just yet, Yan might wake up and want me again. If I go off too far, he'll get angry and threaten to kick me out again. But I can't live in a shelter, not with all of the scary people who I saw there when he took me to 'show me how much I owe him.' All of those people seemed so dead, so dirty, and so alone that the sight still haunts me a year afterward.

I wish Mom was still alive. She was so beautiful and so full of life, she actually was the only one in my life to make me feel as if I was a person and that I had a light inside of me as well. With her long black hair, lightly tanned skin, and large blue eyes, she was the most beautiful person that I had ever seen. She was an angel that touched my life.

Living with her on the Indian reserve was like heaven itself. Even though we didn't have much money and the house that we shared with my uncle smelled like cheap alcohol and chips, with the soul fact that my mother was there tucking me in and telling me how glad she was to have me, I always wished that it would never end.

She always called me her little bird, singing in the morning to wake the sun and bring light to the world. And when she did, she would always hum a song for me, one that I always treasured. It was the same song I hummed to her when she died that night from the sudden fever two years ago.

"Sora, come here," cooed my brother as he pat the sheets next to him, sitting up. The sheets pooled over his hips but it didn't really matter if it was there. I had been with him so many times that any attempt for him _not_ to be naked around me would be odd. His hair looked so hopelessly messy and I couldn't help but chuckle a little, looking at the thick mass of black-dyed hair that hung in clumpy waves at the sides of his face.

Sitting up, I scooted over next to him and sat myself on his lap, straddling his waist and wrapping my arms around his neck. It was the same routine as always, he would ask for me, I would come to him, he would try to talk to me as if my body wasn't the only thing on his mind, and then he would take what he wanted.

"So, I hope you're getting my lyrics finished soon. We need them to be reviewed by the band before we can compose," he said, rubbing his hand up and down my bare back, sending shivers up my spine. I just closed my eyes and nodded, trying to enjoy the feeling.

Tilting up my chin, he tasted me as if I was a child to him, like he was teaching me how to kiss for the first time. His tongue slid in without my notice but I ignored it and sighed into the kiss, tangling my fingers into his hair. There were certain moments when his kisses would dazzle me, making it feel like those cheesy novels with fireworks and all. But his lips felt cold and the kisses were even more forced and rough than normal. His boyfriend must not be putting out as much; normally he wouldn't want me _this_ bad.

Wrapping a firm arm around my waist, he then pressed my body closer to him, making me feel the hardness of his arousal under my left upper thigh. "Get the lube for me," he said casually as he loosened up his hold on me. Closing my eyes, I reached over and grabbed the small slippery bottle from inside the side table's drawer, next to the box of condoms and an old bag of M&M's.

I was about to hand it to him but he put his hand over mine, a playful grin upon his face. I always hated it when he had that same smile on in bed. That always meant something painful or embarrassing was going to happen to me.

"Prepare _yourself_," he said, slowly emphasizing the fact that I had to perform that misery onto _myself_. Looking down to the bottle, I frowned a little. Hell, I'd rather just have my insides torn out than have to do it myself. But the very pleased and aroused look on his face told me that I better do what he said or he might make it even more miserable than it needed to be.

Swallowing hard, I got a little of the substance onto my fingers. Okay, I knew he did it this way, now to somehow get this stuff into me. Deciding on the back approach, I reached behind myself to try to reach my entrance. I could feel the lube start to drip down from my fingertips and I luckily prevented myself from gagging. The whole thing was disgusting, how could someone do it to _themselves_? There was an easy answer, people normally don't.

With a deep breath, I quickly thrust a finger inside of me, quickly followed by a second. The whole thing was painful, even more so than with he himself doing it. At least then I would lay there and just bear it. But this time, _I_ had to intentionally do it myself, intentionally cause _pain _to _myself!_

By the time I loosened myself to be able to get the third finger in I was bent over the sheets on my knees, my mouth beginning to dry as I let out a small moan. Looking up through my overgrown brown bangs, my eyes were fixed on the overly heated gaze he had focused on me as he slowly jacked himself off, watching my every move like some kind of hungry predator. That gaze however scared me. He had never seemed to be so lustful before, even when he _didn't_ have other men to please him as well. But it was something that seemed way too overpowering and dominating about it as well.

"Come here," he grunted as he lazily dropped his hand from his erection and to the side of his lap, waiting for me to straddle him. Ceasing my former action, I did as he asked me and arranged myself onto his lap, waiting for him to guide himself in.

"Do you want me Sora?" he asked, sluggishly inserting himself into me with lidded eyes. I bit back a moan and rested my face into the crook of his neck, trying to enjoy the small amount of pleasure that I would get from this round of sex. His hands snaked up my sides and then back down to rest on my butt, a hand on each side, squeezing slightly. Closing my eyes, I nuzzled his neck with a low purr as he fondled me, squeezing me like a curious baby would to his mother's breast.

"Tell me how much you want me," he then ordered, starting a slow and torturous pace.

"I want you to fuck me," I moaned, licking and nibbling at his shoulder, trying arouse him enough to forget his plans of torture and just screw me. But he still kept his slow pace, his body shaking in pleasure and anticipation.

"But I _am_ fucking you dear brother," he chuckled between a moan.

"P-Please Yan, faster," I whimpered, knowing that was what normally drove him crazy. He always loved the sound of me begging for him. Whether it was to keep going or to stop, it always fueled him to bury himself inside of me every time.

Grabbing my hips, he slowly began to pick up the pace, moving me up and down his shaft. Squeezing my eyes closed, I allowed a long and deep moan to quiver out, wrapping my arms around his neck tighter. The pleasure slowly began to build as he then began to simply pump in and out of me, making me pant and moan with each and every thrust that deepened into me.

"Oh Yan, harder," I moaned out, as I let my head loll to the side, bouncing slightly on his shoulder as he hungrily nibbled along my neck. As he began to slam into me, I cried out for him again, fluttering my closed eyes as I felt our hot skin slam into each other.

Slowing down a little bit, he allowed himself just enough time to lay forward on the bed, positioning me onto my back until he began to pound into me again, making me wrap my legs loosely around his torso, trying to press him in deeper with each matching thrust I made with him.

Suddenly, my thoughts wandered off to that night last week when I was with Riku, remembering the heat of passion we had as I clung onto him with all of my might as he basically fucked me until a mind numbing orgasm.

Thinking about him quickly heightened the pleasure as I soon began to cry out more feverishly, grabbing at his back as I laid my head back into the pillows, staring off at the ceiling. I could even remember the sensual feeling of each thrust he would make as he rocked his hips against mine, making me feel pleasure like I had never felt before. And the way he would give me so many open mouthed kisses and trace his tongue along mine that my lips had swollen up and it became hard just to moan.

"Ohhhh…uhhhhhnnn…"

Nibbling on his shoulder, I remembered how my fingers pressed into the soft and smooth skin of his back, feeling the muscles there stress and relax with each pleasure inducing movement he made. And then how he would groan out the even more pleasurable sound of my name from deep in his throat, feeling it echo throughout my lover's body as he started thrusting more feverishly and directly, ramming his shaft against my spot over and over again.

"Oh yes… ahhhh…"

The both of us were bucking wildly against each other, trying to get the highest amount of pleasure possible. And then he started to clutch me closer to him, knowing that his climax was soon to come.

"Oh God I'm gonna…"

And the look of his beautiful aqua eyes clouded with lust and need for release as he watched me as I…

"Oh…!"

…as I…

"Ah…"

… as he…

"Oh God! Oh Riku!" I yelled out as I arched into my point of release, not noticing that my brother stopped and not from cumming.

* * *

Okay, I'm just going to go and get some coffee and donuts for everyone, just like brother ordered me to. And I won't take too long either, I don't want to get another beating again today. I can still feel the bruises from even last week's attack after I called out Riku's name in bed. I can't believe I was so stupid to do such a thing. After all, it's rude to think about someone else during sex, ever if your partner is only aiming for their own pleasure. 

I winced as my side brushed against the side of the door, the black bruise flaring like nothing I've ever felt before. That was only _part _of my punishment, Yan let the other bruises on my face heal so that it wouldn't look too suspicious around other people. I'm glad, I don't want people to take me away from him, he's all I have and he's helped me so much.

The door rang in the little café as Hiroga led me in and to the bakery counter. Yan sent him with me since he didn't trust me anymore. I understand but it's annoying to have to have an escort to even go get myself some Mc Donald's. But if my brother wants it, I guess I have to just let him, I didn ruin his trust after all.

"Hurry up and get the donuts so we can leave," muttered the stoic Hiroga. He seemed to be the epitome of the traditional Japanese man. He was stoic, quiet, and so mysterious, I never could know what was going on in his mind. Frankly, the guy scared me. It always seemed as if he had some kind of ulterior motives for something. But if he was one of my brother's friends, I guess he was okay.

Gulping, I nodded and went over to the counter and made my order, making sure that Yan and his boyfriend got what they wanted. If I didn't get theirs exactly right, then brother would then punish me about that. The sore on my hip burned at the thought of that. I didn't want to be in more trouble than I needed to be.

The man behind the counter was halfway done with my order and Hiroga walked off towards the bathroom, telling me not to move. Being so scared of him, I just nodded. Watching him walk away, I sighed at my first brief moment of being away from Yan without supervision in this week. Now I know what inmates feel when they are released on parole, nothing was better than this feeling.

Walking over to the side of the café, I sat down at a small table, looking over a magazine that they left for people to keep the time. It was about women's clothing but anything was good at this point, I didn't have someone looking over my shoulder to make sure it was what they thought I was reading.

"Sora?"

I looked up. I was stuck frozen in my chair.

"Oh, hi Riku," I say rather coldly, trying to hide the fact that I'm panicking inside. If Hiroga comes back and sees Riku talking to me, I'll be in so much trouble when he tells Yan that I'll probably be locked in the house for a month.

He sighs and places a hand onto the back of my chair.

"What's with the whole cold shoulder? You act as if you don't know me," he said, making me try to focus harder onto the magazine. Maybe if I ignore him, he might go away and I could try to finish the rest of this day in relative peace.

A few seconds of silence goes by but he still doesn't leave. Why won't you just leave me alone! I don't need to be in more trouble than I already am in!

"Sora, I know this magazine isn't _that_ interesting to you, or you really are a fag," he said, snatching the magazine from my hands and tossing it across the table to another one, making the middle-aged businessman there look up from his newspaper angrily. I just give him a look of apology and then look out the window hoping he'd leave now that it's obvious that I won't talk to him.

He, however, huffed in a frustrated groan and pulled a seat right next to me, sitting down. At this, I jumped.

"What do you think you're doing!"

"I'm trying to hold a conversation with you, unless there's something wrong with that."

I looked over to the bathrooms nervously. Hiroga should be coming out at anytime now and when he does, I'll be finished for sure. Riku's eyes followed mine over to the bathrooms and then looked back at me with a frown.

"Is Yan here?"

"No but you can't be here. Just leave me alone and stay out of my life," said, trying to be as firm as possible. He needs to hurry up and leave for his own sake as well. If he's caught, Yan will come after him as well and make his life a living hell.

"Stay out of your life? What the hell is going on Sora?" he asked angrily, clearly not budging from his seat. Fuck, he's going to be here any moment, I can feel it. And the man at the counter has been calling for my order for a minute now. I need to get out of here.

Standing up, I was about to head over for the counter but Riku grabbed my arm.

"Wait, I'm not done with you," he said low in his throat, sending chills up my spine. The intensity of his eyes were like ice, impaling me through the chest, making it hard to breathe.

I pulled hard away from him and headed over to the counter quickly, grabbing a tray of coffee and trying to run back to the car. If I get into the car, I can lock it and I won't have to deal with Riku until Hiroga comes and drives us away.

As I turned to make my way out, Riku grabbed my arm, right on the fresh bruise that Yan had given me this morning. The feeling of the boiling coffee splashing at the bottom of my jeans hurt the bruises down there even more and I yelped out, trying to make some space between my now almost scalded legs and the hot soggy pants that I was now forced to deal with.

But his eyes focused on something and I cringed. He was staring at my arm. Grabbing my wrist, he shoved my shirt sleeve over my arm and his gaze fueled into heated anger. I didn't want him to see it, I didn't want _anyone_ to see it. A small cluster of purple and black bruises peeked out from under the bandage that I wrapped my arm with to hide the cuts that I had graciously received over the week.

"Who did this to you?" he demanded in a low voice as he bore his eyes into me, making me shrink up. The very sound of his voice then made me feel panicked, even more so than the thought of Hiroga coming. His words were clipped and quivered and I knew that he was struggling to hold back the immense rage that was rising through him. I closed my eyes and silently prayed that he wouldn't hurt me, he was really freaking me out.

When I didn't reply, he pulled my arm hard, making a small whimper escape from me. "Who did this to you!" he yelled as I shrunk under his voice. I couldn't tell him Yan did it or else he might go after him. By the way he was acting, it wouldn't surprise me if he had thoughts of killing him at that moment. All I knew was that I needed to get out of there and fast, without Hiroga with me.

I tried to hold back my tears as I tried to pull away from him, hiding my face. For the first time in years, I was ashamed. Even more so, I was _openly_ ashamed about how Yan was treating me. It was something that I didn't want anyone to know. If no one knew, it might even go away with time and only seem like a nightmare that I would always wake up from. But he didn't understand, Yan loved me no matter what he did and I loved him. He only hurt me because I hurt him, I made him lose his trust in me and I betrayed him. He didn't understand.

"You don't understand," I cried, trying to pull away from him, falling to my knees to the dirty and warm coffee covered floor. "You don't understand! Just leave me alone!"

"What are you doing!"

I then started to cry. Hiroga grabbed Riku's arm and pulled his grip off of me, shoving him away. I just wished this would all go away. Why couldn't it all go away?

"And who the fuck are you?" demanded Riku, glaring at him angrily. Hiroga stood next to me still holding his death glare to Riku.

"It's none of your business. And who the hell are you to ask anyway?"

"Guys please, I don't want to have to kick you out," said the man behind the counter as the people in the café watched on nervously. But the two men didn't care as they continued their standoff.

"How can you let him be treated like that? And by his own fucking brother no less!" he demanded, edging closer to Hiroga. He, however just stood his ground, not moving an inch. What was he thinking? This was going to become a full-on fight if I didn't do something. I just kept looking at them back and forth, watching as the tension between them kept building, making the café seem smaller and smaller.

"Well what are you going to do about it? He belongs to Yan and he'll do anything he wants to him and Sora won't care, so why should _we_?" he said, making a sharp pain hit my heart. But I _do_ care about it.

"Please, don't do this," I pleaded to the both of them, trying to stop this fight before it began. But the two of them seemed intent on continuing this until someone crawled away with their tail between his legs.

"You fucking make me sick."

"Well that's both of us."

"Can you repeat that _again_?" dared Riku, now standing directly in front of Hiroga, a fist clenched into his shirt.

"Please don't!" I yelled.

It was no use. The next thing I knew, they were swinging punches at each other, making everyone in the café shriek and yell. The clerk rushed over to his phone and started dialing the police as Riku grabbed Hiroga by the neck and slammed him against a table, choking him. Hiroga then grabbed onto Riku's neck with the both of his hands and flipped them over, crashing down against the side of a chair and then to the floor.

The sound of chairs rattling and one splintering apart echoed throughout the room as people began to run from the café. I stood up and hovered over the area of their fight, trying to tell them to stop. But I was only answered with a chocked sound from Hiroga as Riku punched him straight into the stomach, knocking all the wind out from his lungs.

Hiroga collapsed to the floor, gasping for air as Riku pulled him onto his back and straddled his sides with his knees, landing punch after punch on him over and over again, bloodying his fists. Then, after he caught some oxygen into his lungs again, Hiroga pushed Riku off of him, throwing him to the side, hitting his back against the bottom of the table.

Riku groaned as he clutched at his side, trying to steady himself as he was pulled onto his back and then slammed into the floor, making me hear the sound of his head slamming into the hard tile.

I then ran out of the café and down the street. I didn't know where I was going but I knew that I needed to get out of there. By the way they were fighting, I knew that they wouldn't stop until one of them was unconscious and that was going to be even bloodier than it already was.

Why did they have to fight about me anyway? I knew that Hiroga had huge sense of pride that he liked to keep but Riku? Why did he start that fight in the first place? He doesn't even know me and he's trying to act as if _I_ need protection, like I'm a cause to be fighting for.

Closing my eyes, I slowed my pace to a slow walk. This day _wasn't_ going to end good at all. Riku now knows about my scars, he got into a fight with Hiroga about _me_, and now I'm walking alone down the street and without the coffee and donuts that they were waiting for.

Stopping, I looked down the street, seeing my apartment complex down a few blocks away. "I don't want to go home," I say aloud in a tone of sudden realization. I _really_ didn't want to go back now. Everything was becoming more and more horrible. I was a walking disaster, I was ruining people's lives and causing trouble everywhere I went. I couldn't even bring back _coffee_ without being the cause of a brawl.

I sniffed away a few tears as I tried to figure out where to go. Everyone that I knew would send me back to Yan if I went to them. And I couldn't just hide in a club or another café all night, stores closed and I didn't want to have to wander the streets too long. Thinking about it made me start to cry even harder, making me lean against the side of the building hopelessly. Police sirens flared loudly as the car sped past, making me close my eyes in despair.

'Mom, I miss you,' I thought as I tried to envision her holding me, me smelling her warm scent of grass and flour. Why couldn't she come back to life and take care of me? Why did things in my life have to go so wrong ever since she died? 'Please help me Mom.'

Looking up, I then spotted a familiar spot of spiky red hair and my heart almost leapt into my throat. I knew him! That guy was one of the people in Riku's band! He's got to help me!

"Hey wait!" I called as I chased after him. I weaved in and out of the crowd as I tried to make my way over to him. I wish I had remembered his name. I knew everyone's name on Judas but him. It was some kind of tool name though. Wrench? Hammer? Fuck it!

"Guy with the red hair!" I yelled, hoping to get his attention _that_ way. Sure enough, the shorter red-haired girl walking with him noticed and turned around.

"Hey Axel, I think that guy is calling you," I heard her say as she tugged onto the guy's arm. Axel turned around and eyed me uninterestedly as I jogged up to them, trying to catch my breath as I stopped before them.

"Thank God I found you," I gasped out, still catching my breath.

"Yeah? And who the hell are you?" asked Axel, looking down at me with a glare. The girl next to her seemed to be more friendly but I knew that I had to convince _him_ to let me stay with him for the night.

"Well, I…uh… _know_ Riku you see," I started, trying to find a way to explain my relationship to Riku. He wasn't my boyfriend, that was for sure, though we _did_ have sex. And saying that I'm a fan of his wouldn't quite fit since I _did_ have sex with him. Amazing how things can change once you get in bed with someone.

"Oh really? Another one of his fuck buddies? Trust me, if you're here to ask me to help you get together with him, it isn't going to happen. You aren't the only one," he said rather coldly, getting ready to walk away. What happened to the playful and somewhat silly guy that I had seen at the bar? And what about the guy that I would see joke with Riku and the band between performances?

I grabbed his arm gently, making him glare at me with irritation. "No, I'm actually, well…" I have to say it. It might be a lie but I need a place to stay and there's no way that I'm gonna get stuck on the streets without trying.

"Spit it out punk or get out of my way," he commanded.

"Well, you see, I am his… _boyfriend_." He looked me over suspiciously. The girl next to him looked as if a light switched on in her head.

"Oh I know! You're that guy who's always at their gigs! Sora, I think, right?" she asked, making my eyes light up. Thank god for girls.

"Yeah! That's me!"

"Wait, how come he fucking didn't tell _me_ that he had another boyfriend?" demanded Axel, looking rather perturbed at the thought that maybe Riku might have kept something from him. But technically he didn't since we weren't dating anyway. The girl just laughed.

"You know Riku and I talk all of the time! And why would he want to come up to you with his _boy_ problems? You're straight, remember?" she said as she grinned up at him.

"Well still, I feel as if I'm left out of everything."

As nice as this conversation was, I still needed help. "Um… excuse me?" I piped up, gaining both of their attention. They had to be related because at that exact time, they looked so much alike that they seemed to be twins.

"Yeah, well what?" asked Axel in irritation.

"Some things have been happening at my house and I kind of need a place to stay. So could I just spend the night at your house? That's all I need and I'll leave early in the morning, you won't even notice me there," I said, practically begging. Axel raised an eyebrow at me in confusion.

"Why don't you go over to Riku's? You should have a key by now," he said, making me panic. I really couldn't tell him that Riku was too busy with a fight and getting arrested to help me.

"Let's just take him, we have nothing else really to do today and he _is_ Riku's boyfriend after all. By the way he talks about him, I don't think he'll mind if we let him in," suggested the girl, giving me hope. She was like an angel of mercy and I really needed it right now with all of the shit that was happening to me.

"Well, I guess. But if something happens, I'm blaming it all on you Kairi," he said, fishing into his pocket for his keys. Kairi just hugged him happily.

"Thank you Axel! You know, you can be really nice if you really want to be," she cheered. He just shrugged his shoulders and headed down the street. Kairi took me by the hand and led me along with them, to my relief. If it wasn't for her, I would be left to either go back home or hop bars until the morning. She was like a guardian angel and I need to remember to thank her later.

They led me down the street to a sleek black car. Seating myself into the passenger seat, we drove down the street and stopped in the front of a familiar group of apartments. They were the university apartments and looked nice and new with their fresh color of warm peach and red paint that made it a nice beautiful spot in the otherwise monochromatic city.

Walking up the stairs, we stopped at room 404. Kairi knelt down and lightly dug the spare key out of the potted plant next to the door and opened the door, waving me in. As I walked in, she placed the key into my palm with a warm smile.

"This is his spare key. I don't think he'll mind if you have it. It saves him the trouble," she said casually, ignoring Axel who was obviously wanting to get home for sleep or whatever. "Just make sure to lock the door and there should be some leftovers from the restaurant in the fridge. It's just some Cajun salmon with rice so it's totally eatable. Microwave it for exactly two minutes and there should be a beer left so drink that or the last of the Kool-Aid but I would check it if I were you _before _you drink it."

"God damn Kairi, are you going to give him a lesson on how to floss as well? Let's go," grumbled Axel as he began to walk away from the door. Kairi just pouted at him and then turned back to me with a smile.

"Well, I hope you do well and if you're tired, just sleep in Riku's bed. He won't mind, trust me. Well, bye!"

After they left, I closed the door and looked over the key in my hand. It was Riku's key. Riku's key to his apartment! Realizing my train of thought, I shook my head, shoving the key into my pocket. What am I thinking about? This is Riku, the guy who keeps making my life more difficult each time he walks into it.

Following Kairi's advice, I walk down to the kitchen and eat the takeout and drink both of the cans of beer, thinking that I need to drink anyway, things are getting to crazy. After that, I throw everything away and then take a nice long shower. With my legs drenched and stinking of cold coffee, I really needed one and it felt great to be able to take a nice shower without having to worry if Yan would come in.

Looking over the soaps, I opened each one and smelled them, smiling at the various scents. They all seemed so clean yet so unbelievably masculine and alluring. Choosing a softer scent, I use the rain shower one and wash off what felt like years of dirt, leaving me feeling cleaner and softer than I've felt in forever.

After deciding to wash my hair later, I towel off and walk naked back into his room. He couldn't have been back that early so I felt comfortable enough to casually settle myself under Riku's covers, inhaling the scent of him from his pillows. It really didn't smell that bad, it was actually good. It smelled like the beach and a natural masculine scent. I guess this could work for tonight.

And then I fell asleep.

* * *

A/N: Wow, I really pushed out this chapter in like two days! Well, I will be giving you guys this chapter a bit later so that if I get slow on my other stories, you'll at least have this one chapter sitting and ready to go. I hope you liked Sora's point of view. I wanted to keep him vague and a mystery, not really discussing or thinking about himself or his problems. And I know that this chapter was pretty perverse but I promise that it'll work out in the next chapter. I hope you also are okay with Riku's portrayal in Sora's mind. When I looked back at this chapter, I thought, 'Wow! Riku's acting a bit crazy huh?' Well, I hope you love this chapter as a whole and I'm sorry that the first lemon you get is a creepy one between Sora and Yan. Riku and Sora's action will be coming up in plenty, don't worry. Just review and it'll definitely happen. If you don't, I'll make it a YanxSora lemon again! MUAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding. Well, until then! Bye! 


	4. Lies of Life

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do.

A/N: Well, now that we've all been thoroughly disgusted out by Sora's side of the story, we can now go to the clearer and more bluer skies of Riku's horny and sarcastic mind. Isn't that so much more fun? Well, I hope you enjoy! I don't really have much to say other than that. Yup. Enjoy!

P.S. Whatever Riku says doesn't represent what I believe personally. Riku has a mind of his own in this story and its pretty creepy. (shivers)

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Burning Desire

"**Lies of Life"**

* * *

This has got to be some kind of sick dream. This whole damn day has to be. I'm just waiting for someone to come out of the curtains and yell, "Hey! Surprise!" Then, I can just beat the shit out of them and feel like I've accomplished something good. 

I feel like shit, like total shit on a summer's day. I woke up thinking, 'Hey, this is gonna be a pretty good day. I'll get some songs out and maybe finally eat something other than ramen in the morning, noon, and night.' So I got out of bed, got dressed, and went to the coffee shop down the street, thinking I was going to start pretty good with some green tea and a banana nut muffin.

Yeah, I know, that sounds really fruity. All of the shit probably started cause I didn't choose something more manly like black coffee and a plain bagel or something tasteless like that.

Well, I ate my damn muffin and drank the tea, which was pretty good actually. As I was about to get up and leave, lo and behold I see none other than the illusive Sora take a seat in front of me. So, to make the story short, I tried to talk to him and then the Jap-baka Hiroga picked a fight with me. It's alright though cause I beat the shit out of him, well, until the police came.

Then that was _another_ big thing. Well, I had to fill out all of this shit because I did something that they said I did, I don't know. And then after a slap on the wrist, I was let go. Sorry I can't give an accurate account of what happened to me but its kind of hard when you had your head banged against the floor a couple of times.

So I had to call Leon to pick me up since my car was still at the coffee shop and I wasn't gonna walk that long ass way just to get it. Unfortunately, he had to bring his _boyfriend_ Rufus because he needed to get some more cigarettes so I had to deal with that shit as well until we _finally_ got to my apartment.

And now you are caught up to what I met when I walked into my bedroom to what I _thought_ was going to be an uneventful nap.

It was actually funny when I thought about it. Here I was, too tired to even care what kind of shit that I could have possibly left on my bed so I just climbed in, thinking the extra warm softness that I felt could have been one of my pillows. Then I realized, 'Hey, my pillows don't smell _this_ good.'

"What the hell?" I ask out loud, leaning over the suspicious spot of warmth. It was under the covers, really snuggled in with a bit of brown fur poking out of the sheets. Wait, brown fur?

Pulling away the sheets quickly my eyes were met with the greatest present that I could have wished for. Seriously, if you stuck a nice and big red bow on him, right around his neck all cute and shit, I would have been the happiest little bastard on Christmas Day. Here was basically the most beautiful boy I've ever seen snuggled cutely under the sheets, not to mention naked and smelling wonderful at that. And, from running a curious finger across his arm, he was soft too.

It was hell trying to hold down the urge to run my hands all over him but I didn't really want to ruin the perfect image of him laying peacefully like that, his face buried in his arms, laying on his side. So I just hovered over him in awe, focusing my eyes on the pink of his full lips, wanting to taste them so badly. God, I need to move away or else I might…

"Mmmmm…"

Oh shit, he's waking up. He's waking _up_!

However, this is another one of my dumb moments when I'm stuck in an awkward position that will either get me slapped, punched, or in some kind of trouble.

Slowly, his eyes began to flutter open from his thick black lashes, letting that beautiful true blue peek through dazedly. Even as he slowly shifted to his back and rubbed his eye lazily, he looked like an angel. Wait, an _angel_? How cliché is that?

Gulping down whatever wetness there could possibly be left in my mouth, I hovered nervously as he slowly fixed his eyes upon me.

"Riku?" he asked tiredly, still waking up from his nap. I nodded dumbly, as if I needed to answer that. Narrowing his eyes, he then sat himself up a little, resting his weight on his arms as he cocked his head to the side with a yawn. "What are you doing here?"

What am I doing here? This is my fucking apartment you leech? What the hell do you think? Well, that's what I would have said if I wasn't so dumbstruck and just, well, dumb. All I did was just stare back at him like an idiot.

"This is my apartment," I said, silently cursing at myself for such a gay reply. Hearing this, he simply nodded at first, thinking that it was probably something normal. However, at looking over the blankets that pooled over his bare waist and then at his surroundings, then finally resting his now panicking eyes on me, he seemed to realize how abnormal this really was.

And then the piercing scream.

Naked, he jumped out of the bed and then dashed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I just sighed and scratched the back of my head. As if I wasn't used to this reaction before. 'There should probably be some of my old clothes around here somewhere,' I thought as I started to shuffle around in my dresser. Throughout college, I never stopped growing until recently so I ended up with a lot of clothes that were too small and a few that I bought too big just in case. My genetics suck.

Pulling out a plain, loose, white t-shirt and one of my old pairs of boxers, I casually walk out of my room and over towards the bathroom.

"Um, Sora? I've got some clothes for you if you want," I offer, knocking on the door lightly a few times. He timidly unlocked the door and peeked his head out a little, his large blue eyes looking from the clothes in my hand and back up to me.

"Oh, uh, thank you." At that he just took them quickly and slammed the door in my face. What the hell was he doing in there?

It was about an hour before I saw him meekly looking at my collection of scattered pages on my coffee table. I totally forgot I left my lyrics out there. He seemed so rapt up in them that he didn't even notice me watching him from the hallway.

"You know its rude to read other people's things," I say with a smirk, watching him look back at me embarrassedly and then slamming the papers back down onto the counter. I couldn't help but to chuckle at that, it _was_ pretty cute.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just looking, that's all." He quickly averted his eyes as I walked up towards him and sat down on the couch, patting the seat next to me.

"Well, as long as you aren't spying for your _brother_, I think we're pretty okay," I say while I lean back into the couch, resting my elbows on the back of it. He just looked at me with another one of his dirty glares, this one not as threatening as before.

"I wouldn't spy for him. That's _one_ thing that I _won't _do," he stressed. I guess he has at least _some_ respect for himself. Well hopefully I can change that. Wow, I'm actually feeling charitable today. This is pretty new for me.

I mean seriously, I never give a shit about anyone but myself, especially now that I've been stepped on one too many times. Like with my first boyfriend, or actually, man-fling as I normally call him. It was during high school and he was a senior while I was a lowly sophomore. His name was Ansem and he _loved_ more than anything to dominate me. I really don't know why. I mean, hell, I really wasn't into guys then but he just needed someone to have under his thumb. Probably also because I made out with his girlfriend at a party once and he wanted to make her miserable. Yeah, that was probably it.

Well, anyway, to make the long story short, he ended up making my life miserable and most girls thought I was gay after that so no one of the female gender wanted anything to do with the 'butt boy' of the most threatening guy the school had seen in years. And countless girly boys wanted a piece of me which is probably the reason why I don't like guys that much. If you had to deal with the constant fear of going to the bathroom by yourself and getting gang raped in the process by overly faggy guys, then you would totally be able to relate.

Wow, I really spaced out. Luckily, Sora is just reading my lyrics some more. Like I care anyway if someone reads them, they're gonna be sung anyway right?

"Well, what do you think?" He pauses and looks them over one last time with critical eyes. This guy can really get serious when he wants to.

"This one's too dry."

"W-w-what?"

"It's too dry. I mean have you seriously read this over?" he asked me, looking at me in all seriousness. Looking over it, it seemed pretty good to me. Hell, I thought it was fucking awesome for something that I came up with in ten minutes.

"Like what the hell do you mean by that? It's fine," I reply. Why the hell did I ask _him_ anyway?

"Well, look at this line right here," he said as he touched his finger under one of my lines. "_Puppet of adultery?_ What the hell is that?"

"But I like that line. It fits into the whole feeling you know?" I say, trying to gesture some kind of depressing feeling. He just raised an eyebrow at me and crossed the line out. "Hey! What the hell!"

"That one can be fixed. I know you can do better Riku. If you couldn't, I wouldn't feel so embarrassed that _I_ have to help you with this." Damn bastard.

"I don't know." Hell, I really don't know, I _really_ liked that line. It was beautiful. Utter perfection.

Grabbing the paper from him, I slowly write out another line. Damn perfectionist.

"Okay. That's actually better. It emphasizes that a lot better, that's good. Now you'll have to change out the last two lines and then you'll have to add a bridge and another verse," he said as he was marking up my page. What was he, my _English teacher_?

"Whatever," I replied with a sigh as I just listened to what the hell he told me to do. Seriously, I'm starting to miss the cold little brat from the bookstore. At least he wasn't criticizing everything I did. Hell, even better, he could turn from pissy one moment to being on his hands and knees, begging me not to stop.

Looking at the brunette next to me, I scan over his long tanned legs peeking out from under the hem of the long white shirt. I don't really care about those damn lyrics anymore, they can go to hell all I care. They'll still be here in a few hours.

"Don't even think about it," muttered Sora in an annoyed manner, making another mark over another set of my lyrics. How the hell did he know? I wasn't even doing anything yet! I was barely even thinking about it!

Eyeing him over suspiciously, I turn my eyes back onto the paper in front of me. This is going to be a great evening as well. I'll just be stuck here, writing lyrics like a good little boy and having to sleep on the couch, not being able to even touch the sexy little vixen next to me.

* * *

Okay, skipping the boring shit like 'hey, I woke, ate a sandwich, and went to bed,' and all of that, the morning wasn't that bad. Ignoring the fact that Sora had kicked me out of my room the night before, leaving me to _actually_ sleep on the couch, everything was just peachy. Yeah, rotten peaches. 

Laying on the couch, I rubbed my temples, trying to get the damn headache out of my head. I really need to get a better couch or have a better sleepover. I mean I wasn't really going to make a move on him last night; I was way too tired and annoyed to do anything remotely in that nature, even though if he wanted to I wouldn't refuse.

"No. The couch is that way," was all that I got from him when he shoved me out of the room and slammed the door closed. It would have been easy to bust open the weak ass lock on the knob if it wasn't for the chair that he propped up against it. When I finally get into my room, I'm taking an axe to that damn waste of good wood.

What really bugged the hell out of me was the fact that he didn't even toss me out a pillow or any kind of shit like that. And me, being on the lazier side of the male gender, I only have pillows on my clearance furniture if it was taped on the damn thing. And even at that, if they look good enough, I tend to take them and throw them in my room. So I didn't have anything between my head and the hard as hell arm of the raggedy sofa and had to use my coat as some makeshift blanket.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him, I swear," I mumble as I feel the hard throbbing in my head slowly turn into a full migraine.

"I heard you," sighed Sora as he walked his way past me and over to the kitchen. What the fuck? Who the hell does he think he is!

I sit up and glare at him, wondering what the hell he thought he was doing in my kitchen. And even in my clothes nonetheless. I mean it wasn't that bad on him, he took my extremely too small black turtleneck that fits nice and snug on his lithe form and a pair of my overly faded, worn, and torn jeans. A slim black belt was wrapped around his hips and a small silver crown pendant was hung from his neck.

"Oh don't look at me like that, you of all people should have had plenty of couch-time," he said, rolling his eyes as he scanned over the kitchen. "And what kind of slob are you? This kitchen is filthy! How old are those eggs!"

Oh yeah, I was supposed to throw those away last week. I'll get that done soon.

Walking over my room, I ignore his sounds of disgust as I shuffle lazily into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me, to the annoyance of my obnoxious throbbing head demon. I really need a shower, a nice long and warm one.

Stripping of my clothes, I look my face over in the mirror. I really look like a morning beauty. If I didn't know better, I would have thought that I had put on dark eye shadow the night before. And my hair looks like I'd been fucked into a brick wall, head first. Basically I look like hell.

"Mother fucker," I sigh as I turn on the shower and jump in, not caring that it wasn't warm yet. The icy water did help wake me up a little so I was glad for that. And when the warm water came in I sighed, feeling my knotted and tense muscles loosen up a little. Who could have thought that a night with the person of your dreams could leave you feeling like a stale pretzel?

I'd like to say again that the shower was great. It has to be one of the top ones in my entire life, if I really kept track of them all. I mean, it was the best thing to just fold my arms against the wall ahead of me and bury my face in it, letting the water rush over my body any way that it wanted.

Having to get out of the shower was a whole different story. I really didn't want to go but I knew that if I didn't get out Sora could have redone my whole apartment and made it… organized. I shudder at the thought.

Wrapping a towel around my waist and doing the rest of my morning duties, I exit the steamy room and walk out towards the kitchen. The smell that filled the whole apartment was like heaven and I knew what it was. It was fresh homemade pancakes!

On the counter was a fresh plate of buttery pancakes a little bit of scrambled eggs with cheese and pepper and glass of orange juice. By the way that it looks, it seems as if the eggs are fresh and I don't remember buying OJ in weeks.

"Don't stare at it. Eat," ordered Sora as he put down a small plate of fresh miniature banana nut muffins. My mouth almost waters looking at them. They look so good and the right amount of butter was spread on them as well, making it melt and ooze all over it.

So, trying not to choke myself in the process, I grab the fork and knife and dig in like I was never going to eat something nearly as good again. It was great, the whole damn thing. If God had come down and given me a billion dollars, I still wouldn't be as happy. Wait, what the hell am I saying? I'd be fucking ecstatic! Screw that comparison.

"Slow down, it's not a race," he scolded as he watched me chug down the rest of the orange juice in three fluid gulps.

"I can't help it, after all, I haven't eaten a good home cooked meal since my mom actually gave a fuck about me and that's a long time ago," I say while ripping a mini muffin in half, swirling it on my plate to get all of the good leftover juices.

Sora just shrugged. "I wouldn't be surprised if it was a long time. You look like you've never eaten anything other than takeout and instant for years."

"Basically." I ate down two more muffins while Sora slowly finished the rest of his eggs, eyes closed in some kind of contemplation. For someone who looks so innocent at times, he could be very deep as well. Seriously, it was as if he was figuring the cure for AIDS while drinking his orange juice. I wonder what's up with this guy, other than his asshole half-brother.

"It's good though, the food," I comment, trying to break the now five whole minutes of silence. He looks up to me and shrugs.

"Yeah, I have to repay you since you let me stay in your house," he said as he grabs one of the two muffins I left for him.

"But this is way more than you needed to do. I mean, how did you learn how to cook like this? It's perfect."

At that, a dark expression comes over Sora's face making him put the muffin back down and stand up, taking his plate. He walked over to the trash and dumped the leftovers out before he started washing the dish.

"Yan did."

Yeah, that wasn't the best way to start a conversation. Remind me to kick myself later. I just sit there in embarrassment, trying to figure out what the hell to say after that. After all, I only meant that to be a complement right?

"Don't worry about it though. My brother just has good tastes. He wants everything perfect and timely. As long as he's happy I'll do whatever he wants," he says in a mechanical and almost sorrowful way as he watches the water run over the plate, taking everything away with it.

Closing my eyes, I get out of the barstool and walk over to the coffee table. Shuffling through my menagerie of notes, I find the paper I was looking for. Now I know how to finish that song.

* * *

A/N: Wow, this chapter is so belated. I feel so freaking horrible. I mean, college is pretty hectic for me. I'm trying to figure out how to get to my classes and feed myself. I miss my mom making me food and setting it out for me. (cries) Anyway, I hope that you like this chapter. It was a little hard to get out but I finally did, after I listened to my new L'ArcenCiel CD "AWAKE." I love them so much! Well, I hope you review. I love getting feedback from you about how you hate Yan and how much you love the other characters and such. I know I made Sora a bit broody in this one but I think it'll give him justice. After all, he can't be cheery and cute like he always is when he's being sexually abused by his own brother. Eh, well, until the next chapter! 


	5. Coming Closer

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do.

A/N: Okay, I have to warn you all, this chapter is going to be a bit freaky. I didn't want to make it like this but I got way too into the story and, well, I guess you'll have to see. But there is a little bit of Riku and Sora cuteness so I hope you'll still like this chapter. It's a big turning point in the story wo enjoy!

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Burning Desire

"**Coming Closer"**

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It was another day. Basically another one. I laid in Riku's bed, watching the light come through the blinds as I wondered what I was actually going to do. I had been here for a good four days now and with each minute that I postponed coming back to Yan I slowly became even more fearful of coming home. With the diner incident and my sudden disappearance, I was going to get a beating that I'd never had before. Or even worse, he might send me to a shelter and leave me there. 

Closing my eyes I curl myself into the sheets. I really didn't want to go back but I couldn't stay in Riku's forever. Sooner or later he will get fed up with me and kick me out. If I he did do that, where would I go then? I didn't have any friends, not anymore since I had lived in Zanarkand.

"_Hey! Sora, I was waiting for you," said Arc as he glared at me with his youthful gray eyes. _

_He was the only friend I had at the boarding school. Everyone would make my life miserable because I was the child of my father's affair with a Native American woman. My father was a big socialite and everyone important was invited to his snobby parties. He was also richer beyond belief and was supposed to have the perfect family. And then I came along, wanting to see who my father really was and I became the blemish on his high society life._

_However, when I was sent there Arc quickly took me under his wing and showed me a life close to normal._

"_I'm sorry! I had to take a shower before I left," I had said, trying to catch my breath. He just sighed and messed my hair, making me perform my once characteristic pout. He always would say that I was the cutest when I did so. I, however, hated being cute. Cute never got the girls to want to be more than a casual friend with you. It only made me look like a little brother in their eyes._

"_Just throw your stuff into the back of the truck."_

"_Why?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. He just grinned and gave me a random thumb up._

"_Because we're going to this awesome little spot that I wanted to show you, it **is** our day off of school isn't it?" he said, making me simply nod my head._

_That night we had driven to the outskirts of town and into Macalania Woods, three hours away. The drive was long and silent and he seemed to be thinking about something the whole time._

_We got out of the car and walked to a large lake in the middle of a clearing. Everything seemed to glow an ethereal color of blue as we stood at the water's edge._

"_You wanted to see it didn't you? Lover's Lake?" he asked me with a smile, making me blush a little. Throughout our friendship, we were like brother's, acting as if we had lived our entire lives together. However, only a few weeks before did I start to grow different feelings about him._

_I nodded my head meekly in reply as I focused my eyes on the cool water, watching a few leaves dance on the mirror-like surface. I didn't want to look at him then. I knew that if I did, I might have said something that could ruin the friendship that I cherished and loved so much. Arc had been so wonderful to me and I didn't want to lose him over some kind of weak and phantom feelings that didn't exist._

_So we had stood there side by side, looking out into the glowing depths before us, both of us trying to find any words to say that could break the unsettling silence. I closed my eyes as I heard him sigh, shifting his weight from one side towards the other, his fingers brushing my hand. It was such a small and silent gesture but it sent a warm shiver throughout my whole body. It was wonderful._

_I looked to the sand under our feet as I felt my fingers around, searching for his hand. As our fingers touched, I felt him tense up even more, closing his eyes as he paused, not knowing what to do._

"_Arc?" I asked, looking up to him. At the mention of his name, he squeezed his eyes shut, as if trying to understand what was playing in his mind. I traced my fingers gently against his palm, trying to intertwine a few of mine with his._

_At this he sighed and ran a hand through his deep red hair. "I thought so," he said as he turned on his heel almost angrily and started walking out to the truck._

_My heart sank as I saw him walking away from me, wondering what was going through his mind. Why was he doing this? Why did he seem to reciprocate my feelings for a moment and then so cold at the next?_

"_Arc wait! What's going on?" I asked, grabbing his hand, making him pause abruptly. The long strands of his wavy red hair covered his face as he looked away from me, not daring to look me in the eyes._

"_I didn't want to think it was true. I didn't want it to be true."_

"_Arc, look at me! What are you saying?"_

_His gray eyes looked sadly back to me with a mix of anger. "I'm saying that if this is how it has to be then I don't want you near me anymore."_

"_Why?" I asked, trying to make sense of it all. Arc wasn't normally like this. He wasn't cold, cruel, or anything like that. He was a caring and fun-loving guy that would play his guitar and write music. He was the first one to make my angsty poetry have meaning with the careful plucking of his strings. And he was the one that actually made me feel like my life could go on without my mother and made me love him so much._

"_I can't have you falling for me Sora. It's disgusting. Do you know what people will think if they found out? Do you know what they would do to make me miserable?" he rambled, his voice steeped in betrayal._

"_But I don't care what people think. You're all I have and I can't help my feelings for you. I know that I don't want to but I just can't help it."_

"_Well try," he spat, jerking his hand away from me._

_At that time I closed my eyes and cried shamelessly._

"_God damn it, don't cry!" sighed Arc in frustration as he just stood over me like a bully to a crying little girl, feeling as if he could get caught. But I didn't care that I seemed like a girl at that moment. I really wished I was. Maybe, if he saw me as such, then he could actually start to like me and do things like kissing and all of that stuff that he would do with his girlfriends._

_From that time on, I started dressing darker and even cross-dressing. Instead of the normal things that normal sophomore boys would wear, I would wear plaid schoolgirl skirts over my black jeans or wear a pearl earring and intense black eyeliner. I was already a freak to the school so why should I care now that the one person I cared about feared being seen around me._

"_Sora Night! I don't care what kind of funk you're in but wearing women's clothing is not proper dress code!" scolded my teacher when I came in late to her class. The whole class looked at me and snickered. I wandered my eyes over to Arc, the teacher's aide. He simply averted my gaze and gave a nod in agreement. I just smirked and cocked my head to the side, looking at the teacher from my black shadowed eyes._

"_I don't know sir but it doesn't say I can't in the handbook." The rest of the class laughed as my teacher stuttered back at me, flustered by my sudden change in attitude. It wasn't a surprise that he was so taken aback; I was once a quiet and overly polite student, simple and as plain as I could be. But suddenly, it seemed like overnight that I had changed into something so entirely different that it rocked the order of things._

_Because of that, I became popular._

_Everyone wanted a piece of me, wanting to be near the rebel. I was the only one that really talked back to the teachers, broke the rules, and defied everything that the school was about. I would go to parties, drink, have sex with many different men, most from the colleges nearby, and barely skid by with a C in each course. I was fascinating to everyone around me but the one person I wanted to notice the most distanced himself even more._

_After my sophomore year, Arc went off to college, leaving me behind with my broken heart. I didn't enjoy the new "friends" that I had. I also didn't enjoy waking up from each party in different people's rooms feeling sticky, torn apart from the inside, and with a horrible taste in my mouth. _

_I lost my virginity to one of Arc's friends on the seat of Arc's pickup truck when I crashed his birthday party. I could still remember the look of horror on his face when he found us making out drunkenly after the act, my naked legs straddling his waist as he slowly continued to move in me. At that time he had thrown his friend out of the car and then dragged my giggling form over to the side of the house._

"_What the hell do you think you're doing! Ever since the time at the lake you have been nothing but a walking disaster!" he yelled as I leaned my head against the wall, trying to stop the spinning._

"_Oh are you mad? You know no one's watching," I slurred with a giggle as I lolled my head against his chest. He looked at me disgustedly and shoved me off, making me slam back into the wall._

_At the sudden movement, the spinning in my head suddenly rushed faster and my stomach heaved violently, making me barf all over the grass. Arc made sounds of disgust as I vomited again, this time all over my bare legs in a splattered mess._

"_You need some serious help," was all he said as he walked away, leaving me to stand over my rancid mess. I started to cry bitter tears as I tried to wipe the acid taste out of my mouth, the extra bits dripping off of my chin. I was a mess, a horrible half naked mess. Two years ago I was the happiest person that I could ever be. I was normal and had a mother that cared for me more than the world._

"_Why don't you love me! Why don't you even care!" I yelled as I sunk to my knees, sobbing against the tan wall of his house while I tried to cover myself with the skirt I was still wearing. Everything was so wrong and I couldn't fix it now. I had acted rashly and spiraled out of control when I could have simply moved on. My body ached from the pain and pleasure that it went through and my stomach was sore from throwing up. It was pathetic, I went through all of this mess to make Arc jealous, so that he would come crawling back to me which I knew wouldn't happen._

Looking up to the ceiling, I let a few tears glide down the sides of my face. I was wrong, so wrong.

"Sora," called Riku from the doorway, leaning against the side of it tiredly. Sitting up in bed, I regarded him with fatigued eyes, wanting to take another nap.

"You've been here for four whole days and this is just getting ridiculous," he started.

I just sighed and climbed out of the covers. "You're right, I should go."

A sigh. "I don't mean it like that. What I mean to say is that, well…" He then paused.

"Well what?"

"I was going to take you out to get something to eat, I mean, you've been in this apartment for four whole days and, you know what, I don't know," he said as he then gave up and walked into another room. I blushed a little bit, wondering why he seemed so flustered about asking me to get something to eat. Every time I saw Riku from afar, whether it was during his concerts or picking up different women, he always seemed so collected and cool in his approach and in everything he did. So why was he so flustered just now?

Changing into a deep blue muscle shirt and dark black jeans, I clip on my studded suspender-things and walk out the door, looking for Riku.

I found him sitting on the couch, a pillow over his face while mumbling something weird. It was probably him cursing himself for being an idiot or something like that.

"Hey," I say, standing over him with my head cocked to the side and my arms folded. Yes, he was definitely cussing to himself.

He looked up to me with a glare before his eyes then traced down my body, drawing a slow smirk to his lips. Why is he staring at me like that?

"Um, about getting something to eat." Why am I getting flustered now? Normally when I'm around other men I just keep the normal cold exterior and just carry out as usual. And even when guys lustfully strip me with their eyes it's not hard for me to just ignore them. So why am I so bothered right now?

Riku focused his bright aqua eyes back to me and cocks his head to the side, his smile still remaining. "What about it?"

God damn him and his cockiness. Wait, what's up with me and the word 'cock'? Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

"Let's just go before I change my mind." He just looks up at me in confusion for a moment, making me blush, in spite of myself. What the hell am I doing!

"Sure."

--

I was a bit surprised where he took me. After all, he _is_ a student who is a rock singer on the side. So how did he come up with the money to take me to such a nice restaurant?

Looking at the shrimp pasta that was placed in front of me, I start to feel bad. The plate in itself was thirty dollars! And I got a way less expensive thing than what he got.

"Go ahead and eat Sora. It's my treat," he says as he starts tracing his fork across some kind of exotic looking dish. Why is he doing this for me? No one has ever spent money on me unless they wanted some kind of compensation in return.

Deciding to be polite, I slowly dig in to the food, trying not to be too outwardly excited at the fact that it was so good. It's been forever that I've had a good quality meal that I haven't had to cook myself.

"Is it good?" There it was again, his eyes watching me. I just glare and continue eating the food, earning a small chuckle from him. I'm definitely not going to let him ruin this moment. I smiled at that thought.

--

"Why did you take me to that place anyway?" I ask as we walk down the street. We're supposed to be meeting up with his band at Axel's house so that they could practice.

"Cause I know that you wouldn't be spotted there right?" he said with a grin. I just sigh and shove my hands into my pockets, watching people walk past us.

"It must be nice, to be like them I mean."

"Like who?"

Closing my eyes, I just shake my head. "Nothing, nothing at all." How could I expect him to understand? After all, he's an ambitious college student earning some extra money in a band with a bunch of his friends. The biggest problem in his life was probably trying to date two girls at the same time without them knowing.

Watching the people walk by, families with their little babies in decorated strollers and little children holding hands with their fathers, I felt lonely. It's always happened to me. I used to be like those children, spoiled and happy with a mother to love them and a warm house with delicious food and toys to play with. How did my life go wrong? Why couldn't I just be content with just having that life? If I didn't look for my father…

"Sora?"

I suddenly pale. It feels as if my world is spinning and everything around me is swallowing me up. It can't be, it simply _can't_ be!

"No," I whisper, as I feel Riku's hand rest reassuringly on my shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asks before suddenly stiffening.

"Well what do we have here?" I need to run. I need to get out of here. But where could I go?

Riku pulls me behind him as he glares defiantly back at my brother. Why is he protecting me?

Yan looks at the gesture and smirks slyly at me, making my old and forgotten bruises ache. I know that look from anywhere. It means that he's going to punish me again but this time it'll be even worse than he's ever done before.

"I've come to collect my brother. He's missed badly at home," says Yan, keeping his eyes focused on me.

"When he wants to go home, he'll go home. Right now, he's with me."

I wince as I see a small flicker of anger pass through Yan's eyes before making his face change back to the Cheshire grin that it previously held.

"Is that true Sora? Are you two involved?"

"Yes, we're involved," says Riku, making Yan turn to him in anger. What did he do?

"No, it's not true Yan!" I say, pushing Riku out of the way. He looks at me in shock as I stand in front of my brother, my head bowed in apology.

"Sora…"

Yan however grinned and cupped my chin, making me face his cruel hazel eyes. Whenever he did it in public, I just had to suck it up and take whatever open humiliation that he dealt me.

As he kissed me I froze. I didn't want to do this, not in front of Riku. Clutching at his shirt, I really wanted to claw my way away from him and tell Riku that I wasn't meaning it at all. I didn't want to kiss him right in front of him. But Yan gave me no other choice as he wrapped an arm around my waist, brushing his lips over my neck and lingering there for a moment before chuckling, letting me go slowly.

I rested my head against his shoulder, trying not to look at whatever look Riku could possibly have across his face. Whatever it was, I didn't want to remember that since I wasn't going to be able to see him again.

"I see." Closing my eyes, I just had to leave. I didn't care that I was going to be beaten into oblivion or something like that. From the clipped sound in his voice, I knew Riku was furious. Even more so, I could tell that he was angry. The reason why though, I didn't really understand. Was he still upset that I was still in love with my brother? Or was he still angry because of my constant submission to whatever he wanted? No, it seemed like something else but what, I didn't really know.

"Let's go brother, I'm tired," I said as I entwined my fingers with his, brushing his hand lightly against my thigh. Taking the hint, Yan smirked at Riku and then nuzzled his face into my hair, breathing my now mixed scent of my natural smell and Riku's spring water shampoo.

"Fuck you Sora," muttered Riku as I heard him walk off, brushing roughly against me as he headed down the walkway, his form making its way through the crowd until it melded in with everyone else.

Gripping onto my brother's hand, I pulled on a loving smile as he walked us the rest of the way home. It was quiet, deathly silent and I knew that inside he was furious with me but I didn't care. The image of Riku walking away was all that ran through my mind. Was he that hurt that I chose to not put up a fight and draw out what was inevitable even more? Or maybe the fact that I had to do so in a humiliating way.

Looking up to Yan, I bit my lip as I tried to figure out why kissing Yan was so embarrassing. Why was it? I was in love with him right so it should have been natural. So why did I feel so wrong and even filthy in doing it?

The apartment complex rose in the distance and a feeling of dread rose up through me like a splash of cold water down my body. I didn't want to go back, not there. Pausing, I tried to stop the shaking of my knees as I tried to figure out a way to run.

"Oh, my dear brother, I thought that you were tired," he said, his voice sending chills up my spine. What have I done? I should have run! I should have stayed with Riku and we could have run away, far away from Yan and everyone else. He could have protected me.

Shaking my head, I try to pull my hand away from his but he held a firm grip. "I don't feel tired anymore. How about we go watch a movie, I know there's some-"

At that, he pulled roughly on my arm, dragging me up the steps and down the hall of the apartment building with me clawing at his hands madly. "Don't lie to me brother, you said you were tired and I'm going to help you get to bed."

He then jerked my arm roughly, making me fall to the floor as he continued to pull me the rest of the way to the door while I was kicking and screaming, yelling for anyone to help me. Whenever I did, no one would come, probably because Yan had already assured the rest of the tenants that I was mentally insane and had random fits of screaming.

The tears streamed down my cheeks as I clutched onto the frame of one of the apartment doors, trying to pull away from his grasp. "Help me please!" I yelled as I felt my weak grasp slipping until I fell off of the door, leaving deep claw marks behind.

Kicking swiftly at his leg, I loosened from his grasp and started running down the hallway, ducking through different walkways. I continued to call out for help as I ran as fast as my legs could take me, hearing the fast approaching sound of Yan's feet slowly catching up with me. My heart was beating a mile a minute and my muscles and lungs burned as I ran for my life, trying to find at least someone to help me. I was so wrong, I should have let him protect me. I should have listened to Riku.

I was almost out of the building and a large man blocked the way as he was walking with a small six-pack of beer. Dodging him, I almost passed until he called out to me and grabbed me by the arm.

"Hey you! You're that schizo kid huh?" he asked as he gripped my arm tighter, not letting me go.

"Please let me go! He's coming after me! He's-"

"Sora, there you are! We need to stop doing this _every time_," sighed Yan breathlessly as he hunched over, pulling on a playful smile.

My eyes widened as the man then handed me over, grumbling some kind of thing like "you need to keep a better eye on him," or something like that. Little did he know that he handed me off to the devil.

I couldn't do anything to fight back. My muscles were too sore and there was barely any strength left in me from my run. I just let him drag me across the ground as I cried miserably to myself. Why didn't anyone think it odd for me to scream as if someone was killing me and walk out the next day with large purple black bruises? Why didn't someone at least check on me even once, just to see if I was okay?

"Now it all seems to make sense," he said as he threw me onto the bed, the one that I hated ever since I first laid in it. I whimpered as he began to slowly take off his belt in thought. "I always wondered who this 'Riku' girl was. Who could she be to make you call out to her in the middle of something so special with me?"

"Please don't," I whimpered as I watched him fold his belt over so that the metal studs glistened menacingly back at me.

"It really bugged me Sora, it really did." He then whipped me across the face with it harshly, the metal spikes biting into my cheek.

"Now I see it wasn't a she but rather a _he_." Another hit, this time at the back of my head. I choked on my tears as I clutched at my head, feeling the warm sensation of blood start to trickle from my scalp.

"Even more so, he isn't just any guy but the lead singer for that shitty Judas band, the one's _we're_ supposed to compete against!" He then lashed at me again and again, the belt flying every which way and hitting me perfectly each time. "Is that what you want Sora? Does he fuck you better than I do? Does he make you beg for him like the little slut you are?"

"Please Yan, stop it! Please!"

He then paused for a moment, dropping the belt to the floor, leaving me to cry in silence. I tried to muffle out my crying to hear if he was actually walking away. Was he going to leave me alone for right now?

The quick unfastening of a button and the short and sharp sound of a zipper echoed throughout the room as my constant wailing became more fitful. I huddled at the head of the bed as I tried to curl myself into the tightest ball imaginable.

"Don't do this, please!" I cried as I felt the bed sink and a quick movement towards me.

"Come on Sora, why don't you call out for your lover's name again? You seem to be so good at it," he spat as grabbed me violently and pressed me deep into the mattress, ripping the clothes off of my body, the sound of tearing fabric echoing off of the walls.

"No! Let go!"

Rip.

"Yan please!"

Tear.

"No! Get off of me!"

Grip.

"Stop it! **Stop it!**"

Then I screamed.

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A/N: Man, this chapter was just… wow. I was a bit disturbed when I typed this. Cause what I type is what I envision in my mind and watching it in my head was very creepy. Poor Sora was raped and I bet you that now you hate Yan with a vengeance now. I just can't believe that I did this to Sora, especially when he could have just run away with Riku and have him protect him. And the flashback showed his initial downfall, phase one in the ruination of the cheerful and happy Sora to what he is now. Things keep becoming worse for him in his life but hopefully there will be something to help him. Please review, I really want to know what you feel about this chapter and especially this last scene. Did I do okay? 


	6. Same Direction

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do. And I don't own the song 'Same Direction,' Hoobastank does. I just own my own copy of their CD "The Reason", which is awesome by the way.

A/N: Hey all! I've decided to be a good girl and start the next chapter early! Wow! I'm actually doing it! Haha! Well, I'm glad that you all are still reading this. My last chapter was so disturbing, I'm still remembering it in the middle of class. So I'm making this a Riku chapter so that we won't have to see the scariness for a while. But he's going to be angry but I think that he'll come around later on. Oh yeah, and I like the reviews that I got. I know that the last chapter was a bit, say, "rushed" and I'm glad that you guys all spoke the truth. The beginning and the end are just fine but the middle was so 'blah' and ugly that I might have to just revise it later. Until then, here is the next chapter and this time, I'm taking my time on this one. Well, I hope you enjoy.

**_Note: I don't hold these opinions that Riku and the rest of them are talking about. They're just talking about things that I've heard many other guys that I know talk about. So don't get pissed at me if they say something that offends you, I'm just going with how the characters are like. Thank You._**

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Burning Desire

"**Same Direction"**

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"God damn him. God _damn_ him!"

That was all I could say as I made my way through the crowd towards Axel's house. I couldn't believe that little asshole would do such a thing. He basically walked into it with open arms, as if he didn't ever think about the fact that Yan could probably beat him into intensive care when they returned to their apartment. But I don't fucking care anymore, he can rot in hell for all I care.

I knocked into a few other people as I pushed my way across the busy street, not caring that cars were screeching to a stop and honking at me on both ends. Did he love him that much? Was he so blind to think that the bastard actually cared about him at all? Yan could hardly care less if he found him lying in a ditch somewhere, hell, he'd probably be ecstatic and play with the body!

But who did Sora think he was? He simply allowed him to dominate him like that, humiliating him to his brother's pleasure.

Remembering the kiss, I ball my hands in my hair. More so, I could remember how Yan watched me the entire time like I was some kind of amusement. The smug bastard was enjoying toying with me, having to watch him openly tongue Sora. And even worse was knowing that Sora couldn't do anything about it without having to worry about his brother's wrath even more. But why was I so upset about that?

When I reached Axel's house, I simply walked inside, ignoring the welcoming smile of Kairi as I made my way to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

"Riku? What's wrong?" called Kairi as she lightly knocked on the door. I just ignored her as she tried to turn the door knob, finding it locked. I just needed to be alone, just for right now. Later I'll tell her like I always do. Right now, I just need to think.

I leaned back against the wall and slid to the floor, trying to ignore the concerned voices outside. Why would he do something like that? Didn't he know that his brother was just using him? Didn't he ever stand back and realize that Yan didn't love him and had no intention of loving him? So why was he doing this? Why does he keep crawling back to him as if he owes him anything?

Kicking my heel harshly against the counter in front of me, I groan angrily, wiping my hands over my face. Tears?

Rubbing my watery eyes, I chuckle to myself in frustration. Why was I getting so worked up about this? After all, I didn't know Sora more than his name and who his was brother. So why was I crying?

A few more tears fell down and I pulled up my knees, burying my face in my arms. Why did I care so much about what could possibly happen to the guy anyway? He was, after all, just some guy that I started lusting after. I got what I wanted so why was I not happy?

Sniffling a bit, I try to search through my mind, looking for any kind of sign. Why am I crying over him? Why do I feel like I've made a mistake in letting him go?

After washing off my face, I take a deep breath and open the door, scaring Kairi half to death.

"Riku! Are you okay? What happened?" she asked as I made my way to their garage with her trailing right behind me.

"I'll tell you later, I just need to get this off of my chest," I say, mentally calming myself.

When I opened the door, I jumped back a little to see three worried eyes staring back at me. Kairi must have told Axel who would have blabbed it out to Tidus who would have given up and told Leon since the guy didn't like being the only one not to know anything. Thus is the communications network in our group.

Sighing, I glared at Axel, rolling my eyes. "Great, did you _have_ to alert the media?" I asked, walking over to the mike stand, adjusting it and turning it on. The speakers squeaked a little until they settled themselves with Kairi's help, giving off a normal white noise.

"We're just worried about you Riku, don't get like this," said Tidus, frowning sadly at me. I hate when he gets like this. Normally, it means that he's going to guilt me into telling what had happened.

"Whatever, let's just practice for out performance. You and Leon need to synchronize a bit better or else this song will be shit and it's bad performing someone else's song and it being shit," I said as I waited, tapping on the mike.

Leon folded his arms, looked at me in his 'you-better-talk-or-I'll-beat-it-out-of-you' glares. Why was everyone so god damn nosey?

"No one's playing until you tell us what the hell is going on. We can't have a very good band if our singer is too stressed out to hit the notes."

"Why does everyone have to be in my business anyway? I'm fine see? So let's get this damn thing over with before I say fuck it and we play at the club as is," I say, my temper starting to boil inside of me. For all of their years of knowing me, they should at least have known that whenever there was some kind of thing bothering me I tended to shut myself off from the world until I dealt with the issue. However, I guess they decided to ignore that minute little detail.

"It's about Sora isn't it?" asked Axel, twirling his drumsticks absently, probably not really wanting to push my buttons the most in this room.

"How did you know about him?" I asked, starting to get suspicious. Did Kairi tell him about that too? The one thing that I had her swear never to tell anyone in the band?

The red-headed drummer just sighed, tapping one of the smaller drums lightly. "No one told me, if that's what you're thinking. The guy just came up to me when I was walking with Kairi, begging to stay with us for some reason."

"Some chick was begging to stay with you? Why?" asked Tidus, totally confused as he fiddled with his light blue electric guitar, covered in various stickers from different popular surf brands or something like that.

Axel just shook his head, giving him a smirk. "No, Sora's a guy, probably a little shorter than you and with brown hair. Basically you but not so annoyingly surfer boy with 'dude' and all of that shit," he said, making Leon snicker.

"You think it's funny huh? You better not be checking me out Riku or I'll castrate you," said the blonde angrily, giving a scissor-like movement with his index and middle finger to stress his point.

I just laughed and shook my head, rolling my eyes. "I wouldn't want you anyway. I'd have to shoot myself if you said 'I'm gonna cum dude' in bed," I said, earning laughter from everyone, including Tidus.

"Anyway, I saw him and he said that he was your boyfriend and needed a place to hide out from home so Kairi here convinced me to drop him off at your apartment," said Axel, earning a nervous giggle from his sister.

"But he needed a place to stay and I thought you wouldn't mind since you were the one that had been lusting after him all of this time," she replied, making me redden into a blush.

"Kairi! You weren't supposed to tell them that!"

"Well, it's pretty obvious since you've skipped out on two practices to have hot steamy man sex with him, don't deny it!" she accused, making Tidus redden in embarrassment.

"Do I really have to hear this?" he asked, earning another snicker from Leon.

"But you feel so fine in giving us great mental images of every broad _you_ fuck."

"Yeah but that's normal! People are made for that!" protested Tidus with a glare.

"Well when you have what you have, you just have to use it," said the brunette, completely grossing out the blonde. Don't get me wrong, Tidus is totally cool with Leon and I liking other men. Hell, he's even threatened to beat up my last boyfriend 'cause he started cheating on me but that's a different story. He's just completely straight and the thought of fucking another man and possibly being the one on the bottom freaks him out way too much. I guess it's the same way with Leon and doing it with a woman.

"But that's just creepy!"

"Well, if you think that's weird, think of lesbians. Now that is some tough shit right there," I say.

"It's pointless to me. There has to be some kind of penetration in order to make it sex," commented Leon, his eyes twitching slightly at the thought of it.

"But they're awesome for three-ways," replied Axel while licking his lips at the thought of it hungrily.

Tidus shrugged in thought. "Well sometimes they can be pretty handy with their fingers, and even…"

"God! Tidus, that's freaking gross!" yelled Kairi as she clamped her hands over her ears. "Where the hell did you learn this stuff?"

"From the wonderful world wide web, why?"

Axel just laughed. "What kind of porn freak are you?"

"Hey, it's a valid hobby! They have everything you could want. They've got Al Bhed, Asian, Black, fat people, old people, people fucking goats and shit. They even have all of that that gay shit that you two would probably like," said Tidus, making us all raise an eyebrow while Kairi giggled.

"Wow Tidus, you're a walking porn encyclopedia," she laughed.

There was a long pause in our conversation before we all tilted our heads to the side.

"What were we talking about again that got us into this?" thought Tidus as we all tried to remember. That was our life though. Whenever we had a potentially important or serious conversation that we needed to talk about, we always somehow got off track and didn't realize it until we were so far away from out original topic that it was too late to try to figure it out again.

* * *

(Normal POV) 

"Riku…"

The bed slammed roughly against the wall then back to tapping against it in its normal sick rhythm. The brunette buried his pale face into the uncomforting mattress, dull sapphire eyes focused on nothing in particular.

"Riku…" he whimpered again, feeling a pair of elbows falling down to rest at either side of his face. His smooth cheek continued to move against the now ruined fabric of the sheet below him, rubbing his face raw.

"Oh God," moaned the person behind him, making the rocking of his hips more erratic.

"Riku…"

A slow tear traced its way down his cheek as he laid his face to the side, his sweat drenched hair falling raggedly onto his face like a shredded curtain. The head of the bed jerked roughly against the wall again, signaling to the boy that he was almost done, along with a few more desperate grunts behind him.

"Riku…" he sobbed, imagining the seductive but kind aqua eyes of the man that he was calling for watching over him, telling him that everything would be okay.

Burying his face into his sickly pale arms, he cried silent tears as he felt sudden hard thrusts behind them slowly weaken, followed by a long purr of satisfaction.

"You're so good," moaned his assaulter, collapsing down onto him in a sticky mess after he yet again emptied himself violently into him. The bed creaked as it shifted its weight and then settled with a sigh of its springs.

Smooth lips trailed feverish kisses over his shoulders, his fingers feeling the damp skin of the boy's hips. The brunette, however, had lost all feeling in that area previously, glad that he was too numb to feel the deep welts that had ravaged his once beautiful skin. He was no longer beautiful anymore, he was ragged, an old doll that had been roughhoused too much to hold any resemblance to its original form.

"Come on baby, you know that felt good."

"Riku…"

There was a rough motion behind him then the feeling of his body being spun onto his back maliciously, followed by two large hands clamping around his neck. The air rushed from his lungs and he gasped a little, his eyes widening in a lackluster way. The man on top of him glared down at him menacingly, hazel eyes glowing angrily back at him.

"I wish you'd fucking die…" he spat as he tightened his grip, watching his eyes redden, turning blood red.

"Ri… ku…"

The blood rushed to his face as I felt everything slowly being succumbed to black all around him. There were no thoughts in his mind as he began to grow tired. He imagined the silver-haired man standing over him, smiling down at him with his playful and charming grins. Reaching a hand to his neck weakly, he tried to pull at the hands on his neck and then gave up in that attempt, leaning his head back as tears erupted from his face.

Everything started to disappear as Riku's eyes suddenly took a more panicked expression, yelling something to him over Yan's shoulder, starting to vanish. Mouthing it yet again, he felt the pressure in his head reach the boiling point until suddenly everything crashed him into darkness.

* * *

(Riku POV) 

The club roared as we walked onto the stage, cheering and calling out our names while squealing. Tidus grinned at them and waved, making a few of them cheer. Scanning the crowd, I couldn't see him, he wasn't there.

"Don't worry, he'll show up," murmured Leon, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I just looked up to him and smiled sadly.

"Yeah, you're right," I said, trying not to worry everyone more than they already were. It still was surprising that Leon was going out of his way to try to comfort me. I mean, whenever something happened, he normally would just stand stoically in the corner and just give his awkward worried glances, which was close to never. But here he was, twisting his normally unmoving frown into something that could come close to a comforting smile, looking as if he hadn't given one in such a long time, especially not in public with a bunch of other people around. It reminded me of the old Leon.

A smile crept to my lips as I grabbed the microphone, adjusting it to my height while the fans still continued to scream.

"Hey," I said, making everyone cheer excitedly. "Are you guys excited?"

Again, they all screamed, waving their hands in the air and jumping around. It was a pretty packed audience in the club and I could practically feel the heat radiating off of them as if it was a sauna. Yeah, bad analogy but you kind of get it right?

Chuckling lowly, I grin back to them. "Good. If my performance is kind of shitty today, just bear with me. But I'm gonna try to make it great okay?"

They all cheered in response. Axel just laughed while Tidus did the same.

"Well, here we go. For 'Cover Night' we're gonna perform 'Same Direction' by Hoobastank!" I yelled as the sound rushed into a roar.

Axel tapped us off and the music started off low, Tidus playing slightly over Leon's bass. The crowd lowered down, intently listening while nodding their heads while I swayed my hips from side to side, my eyes closed as I waited for the music to pick up.

_**Hey!**_

Then the music roared, making everyone scream and yell out excitedly as they got lost in the beat. Closing my eyes, I bit my lip while I let myself be carried in the music, letting the rush take hold of me while I waited for the verse.

_**Whenever I step outside, somebody claims to see the light**_

_**It seems to me that all of us have lost our patience**_

'_**Cause everyone thinks they're right, and nobody thinks that there just might**_

_**Be more than one road to our final destination**_

Tidus nodded his head to the beat as he started to sing the back up, strumming the strings as I yelled into the microphone, shaking my head from side to side. Leon leaned onto one side, his strumming in quick jerking motions as he matched his bass with the blonde's guitar.

**_But I'm not ever going to know, if I'm right or wrong_**

'_**Cause we're all going in the same direction**_

We all just focused on the music, feeling the vibrations vibrating through out bodies, giving a better high than any drug could. It was freeing, just being one with the music, as I screamed out the lyrics with my voice booming out of my chest.

_**And I'm not sure which way to go, because all along**_

_**We've been going in the same direction**_

The crowd yelled as I went into the second verse, a small group of them moshing in the corner while the rest of them bounced up and down to the music while shaking their fists to the music.

_**I'm tired of playing games, of looking for someone else to blame**_

_**For all the holes in answers that are clearly showing**_

Clutching the mike, I lean the stand close to me as I loll my head to the side, almost humming the song as I felt a pang in my heart. I thought of Sora at that moment, where he might have been, fearing that I might not be able to tell him what I was starting to feel for him.

Like the song said, I was tired of blaming everything on other people, like the fight in the café that made Sora hurt, him being in love with Yan so that I couldn't hope to get his affection. Even when I had froze and messed up by not making Sora stay with me, I blamed him for being blind to his brother's intentions instead of acknowledging the fact that I just screwed up.

_**For something to fill the space, was all of the time I spent a waste**_

'_**Cause so many choices point the same way I was going**_

I closed my eyes and yelled out the chorus, catching Tidus off guard as he quickly shifted his eyes to me in concern. They threw themselves into their instruments as I almost cried out the song, my eyes squeezed shut as I hunched over the mike as I leaned it forward. I had really screwed up and I needed to make it right. I needed to find him again.

_**But I'm not ever going to know, if I'm right or wrong**_

'_**Cause we're all going in the same direction**_

The audience bounced to the music harder, throwing their fists almost violently towards me as they bobbed their heads vigorously. Everyone in the mosh pit scrambled around, ignoring the security who was trying to break it up before they just gave up.

_**And I'm not sure which way to go, because all along**_

_**We've been going in the same direction**_

_**Going in the same direction!**_

_**Same direction!**_

Tidus grinned at me as he sang out the backup, not letting his playing lack its intensity. I yelled the bridge, my brows furrowed as I called it out to an invisible person in the audience as I felt the emotion rise up in me. It made me feel like punching someone, it even made me feel dangerous.

_**So why does there only have to be, one correct philosophy?**_

_**I don't want to go and follow you just to end up like one of them**_

_**And why are you always telling me what you want me to believe?**_

_**I'd like to think that I can go my own way and meet you in the end**_

_**Go my own way and meet you in the end!**_

The music lightened up lightly as I softly sang part of the verse before ringing out into the heavy beat that it had before, making everyone in the audience look as if they could go crazy by the way that they were swaying carelessly side to side, bouncing with the beat as Tidus jumped with it too for a bit. He then returned to swinging his head as he leaned over his guitar, getting lost in it entirely while singing parts of it along with me.

_**But I'm not ever going to know, if I'm right or wrong**_

'_**Cause we're all going in the same direction**_

Leon joined the backup with us as he rocked back and forth while closing his eyes in concentration, his fingers working his bass as he kept up with our slight increase in speed towards the end. I felt almost maddened with the high I was getting from the music, making me scream it with all of my voice, making sure not to strain myself as I rocked almost deliriously to Axel's furious beat.

_**And I'm not sure which way to go, because all along**_

_**We've been going in the same direction**_

All I could think was how cathartic it was. It was sheer and utter bliss.

_**Going in the same direction**_

**_Going in the same direction!_**

_**Same direction!**_

* * *

A/N: Oh my God! This was such a rush when I typed up the concert scene. Yeah, I know that this chapter was kind of eh but it's the whole transition chapter until everything truly changes. And besides, Riku is figuring out that he's falling in love with Sora. Go him! Anyway, I finally dug out my Hoobastank CD, you know, the recent one? Well, I listened to the first song 'Same Direction' and I thought, "Oh my gosh! It sound's like something Riku would like to sing!" I mean, if you listen to the song, especially with earphones, super loud, and pushing the earphones close to your ears so you could hear everything, it is totally euphoric! Heck, if I knew how to play the guitar or anything, I'd totally rock out to it myself! 

Well anyway, that scene took forever to piece together. I mean, I had to listen to the whole song like three times to try to plan out what the heck the band would be doing while they were playing it then I had to listen to each piece of the song, trying to hurry up and type it all out so that I didn't lose the image before I got it down. And then, I listened to it one more time while I replayed the whole scenario in my head, making sure all of their movements would be correct with the music so that they could flow like normal performances. All of that came to this final product and I hope that you all enjoyed it. If there are some innacuracies, feel free to bring it up to me, I know I might have screwed up here and there. I tried though!

I know that the whole thing with Sora getting strangled is not the best way to transition into the concert scene but I couldn't help it. I wanted it to be kind of rough to show how the mood of this chapter is. It's supposed to be somewhat chaotic. But don't worry, he's not dead. Well, hope you all enjoyed and I'm so glad that I'm getting so many honest reviews cause I have to admit some of my scenes and even chapters suck and I'm glad you all are noticing that! Please review!


	7. Silence in Black and White

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do. And I don't own the song 'Same Direction,' Hoobastank does. I just own my own copy of their CD "The Reason", which is awesome by the way.

A/N: Okay, I know the last chapter was a bit crappy, I'll admit to it. I've written better chapters. And I'm so sorry for taking so long to get this one out. Actually I had this chapter done months ago but I forgot to post it. Until recently. It's very embarassing actually. But well, here is the chapter. A bit of a wierd one but a chapter nonetheless.

**

* * *

**

Burning Desire

"**Silence in Black and White"**

* * *

It was a pretty normal day when it happened. The band, Kairi, and I were hanging out in Axel's house, eating pizza and talking about our normal ridiculous conversations. They really wanted to talk to me about what had happened between Sora and I but simply convinced them that I wanted to talk about it later. Right now, I just needed to calm myself down and think these things thoroughly. I had lost him because of my rashness and I didn't want to just give excuses to them why I just let him walk into blatant danger.

Leon had his eyes closed as he just dozed off on the easy chair, his legs swung over the arm as he had his back turned to us. The past week had been pretty stressful as well to him as Rufus was trying his best to convince his father that he didn't want to own the company. So it was pretty evident that he took out his aggression on Leon, in more ways than one. It was pretty sad to watch him walk up to the door and then suddenly fall asleep against the wall as if it was a normal thing. Poor guy.

Other than that and my Sora problem, everything was pretty good. We had a great performance two weeks ago and people were starting to be loyal to us again instead of the stupid Diva le Manx pussies but whatever. No one can beat quality, it's just a known fact.

The door bell rang, making us all look at Axel in confusion.

"What the fuck are you looking at _me_ for? It's probably one of Kairi's little friends wanting to play with makeup or something," he said, earning a huff from his sister.

"Well I don't have anyone that should be coming over now, not at eight o' clock at night at least," she replied as she walked towards the hall curiously.

Looking around, I counted everyone off. Leon, Axel, Tidus, Kairi, me, that's all of us. Who else could there be? Sora doesn't know this house and it shouldn't be anyone from Diva le Manx. Hell, it can't be Axel's parents because they're halfway across the country.

There was a long sense of silence as we sat and waited for Kairi to tell us who it was.

"Eh, it's probably those religious people going door to door. They're starting that up again over here," said Tidus as he reached over to get himself another slice pizza, now eating his seventh. For such a fit guy, he could eat his own medium pizza, two liter soda, and _still_ have room for dessert. I never was able to really understand that.

"Yeah but normally our dog barks like hell when it's them," replied Axel as he looked up in thought. That was true, their dog is crazy as hell when it comes to people it doesn't know. It took a full year for the annoying black lab to stop barking like I was there to rob them blind. Now I want to let you know that I love animals and all but some are just so aggravating that they just need to be put down or let out into the wild beyond so that they can be annoying by their own damn selves. Stupid mutt…

More silence.

It was a bit unnerving as we continued to wait for what seemed like hours though we knew it was actually a few seconds, probably three or four. Leon continued to snooze and Axel was starting to get frustrated.

"What the hell, is she asking them for a fucking date or something?"

Then she screamed.

"Oh my God! You're back Cloud!"

We all froze.

"She's got to be fucking kidding," said Axel as he took a nervous glance and the slowly waking up Leon. Following his gaze, we all knew that we were sitting in what would soon be ground zero. Why did he have to come when Leon was here? Why does he have such _excellent _timing?

Note the sarcasm here.

Sure enough, Kairi walked back to the living room with the blonde, smiling as if she opened the door to see Santa Claus on the other end.

"Hey," he said with his normal slight smirk, his head high, looking at us with his glowing blue eyes. He looked very different from the last time that we had seen him. After all, he was breaking up with Leon at that time and looked like shit. But even when they were still together, he seemed very tired, withdrawn even. Sure he was cool to hang with and stuff like that but it just didn't seem as if his home life was that good at all. It wasn't, that was supposedly one of the reasons why they broke up.

As he flashed a cocky smirk over all of us, I could tell that he had definitely changed. He wasn't as insecure like he previously was, only relying on Leon to get him through the day. Whatever he did these past four years, he had gained some serious balls. Wearing a simple black and white long-sleeve baseball tee and a nice pair of black jeans with black converse, he seemed a lot more normal than he previously was. I just couldn't place it then but he just seemed more… real?

"Hey Cloud! Um, you're back eh?" asked Tidus flusteredly, trying to find something to say. It really was an awkward position. Obviously Cloud had not seen Leon slowly waking up on the easy chair because he just seemed perfectly comfortable enough to try to start a small conversation with us.

"Yeah, I just got out of SOLDIER Academy and I thought that maybe I could come and visit my old friends, see how you all are doing," he said with a confident shrug. Axel's jaw dropped at the news.

"You're in the military? When did this happen? You're not a military type the last time I remembered," said Axel. I was pretty in shock too. If anything, he was just another rich kid with overbearing parents who I thought would just wait until he would be placed into the family company.

Cloud just laughed, making us wince as Leon started to crack his eyes open at the sudden noise. "I know. I didn't think I would do it either but hey, they have a pretty convincing school. Besides, they said I don't have to sign up for the actual thing right away. I get a time period for that, unlike the regular military services."

Sensing our tenseness, he just laughed, shrugging his shoulders. "Ah well, military stuff is too boring anyway. So what's up? I see you've replaced me eh Tidus?" asked one blonde to the other with a smirk.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Leon sit up confusedly, squinting his eyes while trying to see who the hell was probably waking him up. As he saw the familiar blonde, his body went rigid and his gunmetal eyes icily glared back at him.

"Cloud…"

The said man looked over in his direction and his once joyful grin turned into an emotionless frown. "Oh, I see _you're_ still here."

Yep, it was starting. As they glared back at each other, there was a miniature war that raged on yet again, picking up from where they last left off when they parted ways. Looking at the way that Leon had reacted, he really wasn't expecting to see the blonde, that guiltlessly ruined his life, come back as if he was welcome. To us he was but it was because of him that Leon had blindly dropped out of college so that he could be with him.

"Of course I'm still here. Unlike you, I don't just abandon my friends," said Leon as he got out of the chair. Running a large hand through his messy brown hair, he made his way up the stairs past him.

As he walked by, Cloud simply smirked at him playfully. "And you're still the one to hold petty grudges I see."

Leon glared back at him, his back still facing us. There was a certain look of betrayal that went through his expression, one that was mixed with rage.

"Why don't you just drop dead."

"But why would I do that? It's not _my_ fault you had a misunderstanding."

At that Leon just glared at the wall ahead of him, seething in anger, if that's the word for it. It had been years since I had seen him so angry and was probably the first time Kairi or Tidus probably have witnessed it.

He focused his gray eyes straight into Cloud's with such an intensity that, if it could be possible, would kill in an instant. "I know, after all I should have known from the very beginning that you stopped loving me."

* * *

I hadn't seen Cloud until well into the next day. He was going to be spending his time living with Axel and Kairi in their house, until he went back to Midgard to join SOLDIER, so he decided to make himself useful by making dinner for them.

"What kind of food should I make? I was thinking about beef stew with rice but I really don't know," he rambled as we walked down the sidewalk towards the grocery store. Being around him was weird. He was restless, always starting meaningless conversations to fill up the silence. I already knew why, it was because of the fight that he and Leon had the night before. I could tell that what Leon said really had hit it hard on him, since he had been quiet the rest of the night after that.

He grinned back at me in an almost fake manner as he continued talking about the food that he had eaten in school. Frankly I really didn't give a shit but I just let him ramble on. If it made him happy then so be it as long as I really didn't have to talk too much.

It always seems that people keep relying on me to make them feel better whenever I feel the most like shit. After all, it had been a full month since I had last seen Sora and I knew that I needed to find him. But the problem was, I didn't know where the hell he lived. And even if I did, I couldn't just go and break in. Even if I knew that Yan was away, I knew he would get suspicious and I would get caught.

"Are you even listening to me?" asked Cloud impatiently, glaring at me with his unnatural eyes.

"Yeah."

We walked for a few more minutes after that in silence until the time when we entered the sliding doors to the Apple Grocery. Yeah, really shitty name for a store but whatever.

The entire time Cloud was very quiet, looking over the peaches distractedly before randomly putting some mangos into a plastic bag. Everything about him at that point made me nervous. The only way I could describe the feeling would be if your idol gave you that lingering smile that your parents give you when they think you're totally full of shit but don't want to deal with an argument. He had a real talent for making people know when he thinks they are wrong.

I also know that he thinks that it's all about his break up with Leon and it's pretty true. From my experience of it all, everyone basically saw him as the bad guy in the whole thing, except for Kairi who really wasn't around us that much to see what was going on. But I don't blame her, I really don't want to have this lingering suspicious feeling of Cloud either but it was him that abandoned us after all.

We stood in line to check out, Cloud casually flipping through some kind of celebrity gossip magazine. You all know those ones, the ones that keep claiming that they have found the illegitimate children of world leaders and put up obviously doctored pictures. Yeah, those type. But that wasn't the point.

The entire day he seemed to be too, well, _at ease_ with himself. Not like he shouldn't. But around us, and especially around Leon, it was a bit weird.

"I know you're still thinking about it," he said, totally catching me off guard.

"Huh?"

Sighing, he placed the magazine back into its rack and put the divider down onto the conveyor belt before placing his basket onto the small strip of counter.

"About what happened between Leon and I."

There was a long awkward pause between us for a while as I dumbly watched him put the mangos, chicken, and other things onto the counter. The cashier smiled to him and did her routine greeting, ringing everything up cheerfully. Cloud just smiled back, staring off to the side. I don't know why but he seemed to be so… I don't know a word for it. Just the look of someone who had lived his life knowing that with everything he had he only had nothing.

It wasn't until we were back outside and walking again that he spoke again.

"Hey, let's go to the park. I don't really want to go back yet," he said with a slight smile.

I just shrugged as we walked. It wasn't like I had anything better to do than to watch little kids run and fall off of the playground bars. Hell, the thought of it was pretty funny. After being a kid who fell off a million times until I finally gave up, I had every right to feel amused by it. You can only laugh at it if you lived it.

We sat down on a bench near the long stretch of grass where a few kids were trying to fly their kites. They would run and run but no matter how hard they tried, it never flew. Or if it ever did, it would only go for a small distance until it came crashing down to the ground or into an awaiting tree.

Cloud simply watched, a small and pleasant smile on his face. What was going on through his head?

"How is he anyway?" he asked, not pulling his eyes from the struggling children. I just shrugged, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"Alright I guess."

I really didn't want to tell him how he really was so I tried to be vague. But Cloud, on the other hand, asked anyway.

"Is he… with someone?"

There wasn't any kind of anxiety in his voice as he asked, he seemed more distracted than anything by watching the children. Closing my eyes, I just leaned back into the bench, enjoying the warm sunlight.

"Yeah. Rufus Shinra."

He just smiled, more to himself than anyone else, tilting his head down a bit.

"I thought so," he said eerily calm. "I'm glad."

I sat up all night that night thinking about how things used to be with Cloud in the picture. After all, it was him and Leon that started Judas. From what they told me, it was before they were really together. They were simply friends at the time but really close ones at that. It's kind of surprising actually to think about it though. An icy bastard like Leon making friends with a, then, impossibly shy and quiet Cloud? It's as if God came down and melded oil and water together.

They were seniors in high school at the time and they were forced to be partners for their chemistry class for the whole year and they just hit it off I guess. I didn't meet them until two years later when they had been looking for a vocalist for their band. Well actually they were looking for a bassist but I 'wowed' them when I was singing them back the chorus to some song I was working with them on, I think it was something by Avril Lavigne. Don't ask, it was a long time ago. And besides, her stuff was what everyone listened to back then.

Well, just for the record, I didn't sing it all high pitched or girly and shit. Just to clear all of your minds. I was trying to figure out how to get the song right for the bass that I was shortly realizing that I didn't know anything about but then Cloud luckily, and enthusiastically, decided that I could be their vocalist instead since Leon didn't have the range and blondie couldn't sing to save his life.

So we finally had a guitarist and a vocalist. And then soon after, we picked up Axel as our drummer. Then came our biggest dilemma. We had everything, lyrics that were already composed into songs and a full band and everything except a bassist. For three months we had looked around to find one but no one wanted to join who had the skill or who weren't bigger assholes than _we_ were. The only person that we had left was Leon.

Leon proved at that time how difficult he could be. We asked him, bribed him, and Cloud even put out for him to just give in and be our bassist. But no matter how much we worked to get him to join, he never would.

It's actually funny how the person who wanted the most to play in our band ended up being the one to ditch us before a big gig. I always thought it would have been Leon, after all, he always seemed so against playing. But then again, after Cloud just deserted us, tall, dark, and icy began to practically throw himself into the concerts and compositions. I guess I would too if I had been personally betrayed by the one that I devoted my life to.

Rolling over to the side, I thought of Sora. What was he doing now? The last time I saw him seemed like a year ago though it was only a month.

It was the same day that he decided to go with Yan.

I never really understood why he did it. After all, if it came down to it, I would have physically fought the bastard if it would have kept Sora close to me for at least another day. But why did he go to him so willingly? Didn't he have faith in me? Didn't he think that I could protect him from the monochrome prick?

Sighing, I answered my own question. "He wanted to protect me."

The words bounced off of the walls in my room and carved themselves back into my brain. It was true, although ridiculous. He wanted to protect me from his brother and his drones. But why would he do something stupid like that? Was there something about his brother that I didn't know about? Or maybe it could have been because…

"No, I'm just being stupid now," I groaned, rubbing my hands roughly over my face before letting my arms fall over my head. It couldn't be true. After all, I'd only known him for barely over a month and the same for him but he couldn't… I couldn't…

But I did. I was starting to fall for him. I already figured that out a few days ago but I really didn't think that I was _really_ getting serious about him. He was always spending his time distancing himself from me and being a sarcastic little bitch to me. However, I knew that somewhere deep inside of him was the true Sora, the one that was scared and needed someone to protect him and truthfully treat him like he was the most important person in their world.

I finally told Cloud about the whole situation, after he had guilted me into it. He seemed very interested with my 'awkward' romance that I was playing out with Sora, as he called it, and he wanted to help. Seeing the blonde with a mischievous smirk and the eerie glow in his eyes made me more nervous than anything. Cloud was never like this when he was home before.

Then he told me. In three days, we were going to rescue Sora.

* * *

A/N: Okay, this was such a hard chapter to get out. I mean I tried to get as much of the new mini plot into this as possible but it kind of fell a bit short from glory. Ah well, it's done! I can always revamp this story and have an extended version when the whole thing is done. Well, I hopefully will do better in my next chapter. Stick with me okay? I'm trying really hard here. And besides, I have a long weekend of pure nothingness in a room the size of a small kitchen. So I'll get the next chapter out fast, even if it kills me! (Note, it probably won't kill me.) Bye! 


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